Archive for the ‘week that was’ Category

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Before I start today:

I was dubbed “Mr. February” in a blogger calendar on one of my faithful reader’s site.

The thing here is that I am topless in the photo and tried to remain anonymous and, well, happy hunting to you all to find it.

Godspeed.

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Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo…

My Posts from this Week:

Chili’s restaurant really needs to tighten down their screening process when it comes to hiring marketing executives.

Wazooo!

I give you the Pros and Cons of divorce!*

*porn sold separately

I Tweet, therefore, I am…a parent.

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Moments in MENTAL POO History:


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A year ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

I went to go pee and all I found was THIS PIRATE TREASURE!!

Our urinals are a gold mine.

Literally.

I debut my first “Weird Stuff to do with Dog Toys” film.

Poor Pooh Bear.

My son. Gigolo.

Like father, like son.

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Two Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

My doctor wants to give me ‘the ol’ finger poke.’

Stand back, people. He’s a professional.

What do you do when you see your boss’ balls in the locker room?

You make a stop-motion video of the experience, of course.

Duh.

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Three Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo

..and this is how I entertain myself during meetings.

My inaugural letter for my “Dear Moog” advice series kicks off with this letter about duct tape, vibrators and feeding our children.

All separate questions, thankfully.

If I was in charge of making the Ten Commandments.

If my ex-wife had her say in the Commandments as well.

Fair is fair.

Shit like this is why I hate flying.

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Some funny stuff that’s not mine that I read this week:

I have to mention Veggie Assassin’s take on Massachusetts here because, well, I’m one of ’em.

Even when the Bloggess doesn’t write the content, she still puts up some funny shit.

ALSO:

I’m going.

I’m SPEAKING.

You should go, too.

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There you go, folks.

Some new shit, some old shit.

That should keep you busy.

See you on Monday.

Moog out.

>
Before I start today:

NOMINATIONS, PEOPLE!!

I was nominated by some awesome people for a Shorty Award(pun fully intended) for my Tweets.

The more nominations I get, the better chance I have of being recognized by people I don’t care about.

It’s a narcissism thing.

If you have a Twitter Account, I’d love if you could go HERE and throw a nomination my way.

THANKS!!

Also..the votes were counted and…

I won the title of “BEST MALE BLOGGER” on the Studio 30+ 2011 Boomerang Awards!

Thanks to all who voted!

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Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo…

My Posts from this Week:

I got an email FROM MYSELF trying to get me to buy Viagra.

So, you know, I emailed myself back. Of course.

Then I went to find love (sex) on Match.com and all I got were these terrible terrible profiles.

Ladies. You’re doing it wrong.

Then I went to work in a blizzard and, well, that was stupid.

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Moments in MENTAL POO History:


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A year ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

Texas Roadhouse sends me a super secret email and then it turns out to be BULLSHIT.

Stupid Roadhouse email.

I continue to lie to my children and I’m really not looking forward to where they’re going to house me when I’m older.

IF they house me when I’m older.

Kristin isn’t the only co-worker who asks me questions about sex. YAY ME!!!

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Two Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

WHOA WHOA WHOA. ANOTHER post about lying to my children?

I am. So. Awesome.

When you dream about banging your friend’s wife, what else do you do other than to ask ME what you should do?

Yeah. You probably should have done something else.

Why Human Resources hasn’t escorted me out yet, I have no idea.

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Three Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo

Where I draw the line at being ‘environmentally friendly.’

Hint: there is mayonnaise involved.

Hillary Clinton, pine cones, and snow hemmorhoids.

I can’t really explain it better than that.

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Some funny stuff that’s not mine that I read this week:

He goes by the name, “Rahul” and he’s one funny mother even when he’s writing about James Franco.

ALSO:

I’m going.

I’m SPEAKING.

You should go, too.

************************
There you go, folks.

Some new shit, some old shit.

That should keep you busy.

See you on Monday.

Moog out.

>
Before I start today:

NOMINATIONS, PEOPLE!!

First off I was nominated over at Studio 30+ in the categories of “Funniest Blogger,” Best Tweeter,” and “Best Male Blog” and “BLOG OF THE YEAR!!”

I need to defend my title for the “Twitter” one, at least. It’s a pride thing.

Head on over, please, and throw some votes my way if you have the time!

NEXT!

I was nominated by some awesome people for a Shorty Award(pun fully intended) for my Tweets.

The more nominations I get, the better chance I have of being recognized by people I don’t care about.

It’s a narcissism thing.

If you have a Twitter Account, I’d love if you could go HERE and throw a nomination my way.

THANKS!!

*****************

Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo…

My Posts from this Week:

I’ve had kind of a banner week here at “Mental Poo.”

It started off with this post about finding out that my website was mentioned in the forum section of a really weird fetish website.

I mean, like, REALLY F’ING WEIRD.

That one page got a TON of hits.

Then came THIS ONE:

The one where I outline the ‘joy of parenting’ (read: notsomuch) in ten steps.

When I tell you that that ONE post got almost 40,000 page views in three days, I’m not exaggerating. I guess I know what I’m doing for all future posts now (reposting that one).

Then I show you how to properly sexually harass a coworker if, you know, you are a computer geek.

Like. Me.

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Normally this is the part of the post where I give you links to posts I did at this time 1, 2 and 3 years ago but, honestly, I’m on my way out the door to get really shitfaced and my boss MADE ME ACTUALLY DO WORK FRIDAY WTF, DUDE so I just didn’t have the time.

There is a calendar thing over on the right if you’re interested in poking around and I would love if you would.

Thanks in advance for your votes, everyone!

See you on Monday.

Moog out.

>
Before I start today:

NOMINATIONS, PEOPLE!!

First off I was nominated over at Studio 30+ in the categories of “Funniest Blogger,” Best Tweeter,” and “Best Male Blog” and “BLOG OF THE YEAR!!”

I need to defend my title for the “Twitter” one, at least. It’s a pride thing.

Head on over, please, and throw some votes my way if you have the time!

NEXT!

I was nominated by some awesome people for a Shorty Award(pun fully intended) for my Tweets.

The more nominations I get, the better chance I have of being recognized by people I don’t care about.

It’s a narcissism thing.

If you have a Twitter Account, I’d love if you could go HERE and throw a nomination my way.

THANKS!!

*****************

Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo…

My Posts from this Week:

I tried to make Mario Lopez ugly and failed terribly.

You’ll see. It’s harder than it looks.

That’s what he said.

This is the kind of crap you get when you actually try to use Google.

I bet Bing doesn’t pull this shit.

I was left home alone with some board games and all I came up with is this pornography..kind of.

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Moments in MENTAL POO History:


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A year ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

I start my series of making my own “Family Circus” cartoons.

This has turned out to be one of my more popular features. Go figure.


..and sometimes, looking back, the divorce really isn’t much of a surprise after all.

So you know those times when you just go, “JESUS CHRIST!”..?

Me too. So, you know…

I MADE A VIDEO.

Yep. Going to Hell.

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Two Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

About a year ago I accidentally sent my password to a developer here at work.

He knows way too much about me now.

..and then I worked out at the gym and realized I forgot my underwear.

Me no likey.

Remember the poet who did her stupid poem at Obama’s Inauguration?

Yeah. Me too.

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Three Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo

And this is why, people, that you never try to lift weights at a party while you’re absolutely shitfaced.

So, then I had a vasectomy and had to masturbate into a cup.

Typical Tuesday, really.

So then I found out that THE VASECTOMY WORKED and, you know…the line forms at the rear, ladies.

Well, front, actually.

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Some funny stuff that’s not mine that I read this week:

You very rarely get to see a pretty blogger who is in a t-shirt and you can kind of make out her boobs so, you know, here you go.

Suzy Soro writes about why blogs suck. On her blog. She is awesome.

************************
There you go, folks.

Some new shit, some old shit.

That should keep you busy.

See you on Monday.

Moog out.

>
Before I start today:

NOMINATIONS, PEOPLE!!

I was nominated by some awesome people for a Shorty Award(pun fully intended) for my Tweets.

The more nominations I get, the better chance I have of being recognized by people I don’t care about.

It’s a narcissism thing.

If you have a Twitter Account, I’d love if you could go HERE and throw a nomination my way.

THANKS!!

*****************

Just in case you missed another fun-filled week on Mental Poo…

My Posts from this Week:

I get attacked by a cat at a Rescue Shelter so I do what everyone else would do:

I make an animated movie about how I almost died because of it.

Friggin’ cats.

This is why you should be my friend on Facebook. This is also why Fox News needs to hire my ass, stat.

Or ease the ‘cease and desist’ order. Either/or, really.

When I get into work I’m ALL business, baby.

Notsomuch.

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Moments in MENTAL POO History:


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A year ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:


More things I doodle when I’m in meetings.

Please see ‘all business’ quote above for reference.

My son gives new meaning to the phrase, ‘playing with yourself.’

I go to a monster truck show and…see…

AN EPIC MULLET.

Big surprise there.

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Two Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo‘:

Yep. It’s a poo story.

Go figure.

Much to the chagrin of my boy, I even fail at making candles.

This one is about leotards and snickerdoodles.

It makes sense when you read it.

OMG – it was 2 years ago this week that I wrote a post about IM’ing the SAME DEVELOPER and sending him my password.

That poor bastard.

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Three Years Ago this week on ‘Mental Poo

Thanks to my vasectomy, I masturbated for candy.

Seriously, folks. This is how my life went.

This is the time my buddy got his balls smashed with dumbbells.

I submit a sperm sample once.

I submit a sperm sample twice.

Sold to the man with the sperm samples!

No idea.

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Some funny stuff that’s not mine that I read this week:

North Dakota. It isn’t just for breakfast any more.

The juicy black balls will melt in your mouth.

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There you go, folks.

Some new shit, some old shit.

That should keep you busy.

See you on Monday.

Moog out.