Alternate title for this post:
“The Face of Catholicism – now in Technicolor!”
My kids both go to CCD on Monday after school.
For those of you who don’t know, CCD is basically “Catholic Classes” where you’re supposed to learn about Jesus…
(not the Puerto Rican guy working at Jiffy Lube trying to talk you into a new air filter…a different ‘Jesus’)
…and the Bible and how Satan has come in the form of Rachael Ray to sway us into the dark side by performing such evil miracles as creating healthy, delicious meals in 30 minutes or less and making us say shit like “Delish” and “Yum-O.”
Some of that might be wrong.
I didn’t pay much attention when I went to CCD.
I was more interested in how to piss off the priests and shit by wearing Black Sabbath concert shirts with pictures of goat heads in a pentagram or – in some extreme cases – my ‘Twisted Sister’ shirt with the back a GIANT picture of Dee Snider in full makeup.
We’re not gonna take it?
You’re damn straight.
So, my son came home from CCD (which apparently stands for “Catholic Christian Doctrine” and not “Clergy Craving Donations” – who knew?) with an assignment he did in class.
Here are the instructions:
At the bottom of this page is a picture of four kids holding a banner.
One of the kids doesn’t have a face.
The spot where his face should be is as blank as the shelf where Skeet Ulrich keeps all his acting awards.
* tumbleweed rolls by
So, according to the directions, my son has to draw HIS face in that spot.
Here’s what my son draws:
Me: “Why did you draw yourself as a black guy?”
Cam (laughing): “I don’t know.”
Way to go there, son.
It’s like looking at his twin.
You know, if he was a pissed off black guy with green eyes and a high fade and – for some reason – chicken feet growing out of his head.
Totally appropriate for Catholic classes.
I’m going out and getting him a Black Sabbath t-shirt.
If you’re going to freak out the priests and nuns and shit, might as well do it right.
But he’s off to a good start all on his own.
That’s my boy.