Archive for the ‘contact me’ Category


Before I start today…I have an announcement:

I’m sterile.

Actually, that’s old news…but my son ran around the house this morning for some reason screaming:

“STAY AWAY FROM ME! I’M STERILE!”

I have no idea why.

But, hey, son:

When you’re MY age, that actually becomes a SELLING point.

Yeah…I’m lookin’ at YOU, Kate.


Where was I?

Oh..the announcement:

Ed from Ed’s Funny Pages told me that I’d been nominated for ‘Weblog of the Year’ AND ‘Best Humor Blog’ over at the 2010 Bloggies.

I don’t know what that is, but if you vote for me and I win this shit, I’ll make you all royal subjects in my giant.. um.. bloggish.. kingdom.. thingy.

No idea.

So..feel free to swing over if you feel like it and throw me a vote or – if you find a blog that’s better and funnier – you can vote for them up until the point that I hack their site and tear down everything they’ve worked for.

There can only be one king.

Thanks, everyone.

ONWARD!!!

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Pain and Suffering.

Twitter-style.

The latest rage for asshole lazy bloggers is to self-promote themselves by reposting some of their own Twitter Tweets as blog posts.

I am now stooping to this level.

Actually, I’m 5′-2″ tall.

No stooping required. Already there.

Sucks.

Below are some of my very own Tweets that I’ve subjected my 12 followers to.

For Volume One click here.

The skew on this one, though:

All things of my very own pain and suffering.

Enjoy.

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Yep…fucking hand is broken AGAIN. I’d say God hates me, but he did break my non-masturbation hand, so I’m on the fence.

found out this morning that playing “the stranger” with a broken hand leaves a bad case of cast rash on your weenie.

Just tried to wash ass smell off my cast hand. Came out, smelled my hand and said, ‘Ugh..pew.’ Look up…some guy staring at me. Fantastic.

Right now I have a whistling nose booger and am saying “Here comes Thomas!” in an English accent, then making it whistle. Worktime Funtime.

Typo on a flyer at work said they were giving out ‘Flew Shots’ today. Three people have died jumping off the building.

I’m totally not getting H1N1. I’m holding out for H2N2…let them work out the kinks in this one before I dive in headfirst.

Someone asked if Jesus would get a flu shot. I said ‘no’, as he now has an aversion to sharp things piercing his skin. Here I come, Hell

Home sick today. Must rest. Rest = Xbox and porn. Xbox needs to make a porn game. Maybe a better idea for Wii. I’m apparently delusional.

Nightime Cold + Mucinex + two large cups of coffee = dizziness and hallucinations & OMG OMG OMG A RAT IS EATING MY FOOT! Wait. Just my shoe.

This cold has me coughing up a ton of goopy shit. So this is what it must feel like to be Paris Hilton.

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If you’re linked to me on Facebook, you may have seen these as well.

If you want to find me in either place, click here.

Twitter at: http://twitter.com/moooooog35 or you can just click this button:

Find me at Facebook by clicking here:

You’ve been warned.

Tweet.

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You knew it was coming.

(hands woman a towel)

Wow.

Got disgusting there right off the bat.

GAME ON, BABY!

I’m actually talking about this post.

The latest rage for bloggers is to self-promote themselves by reposting some of their Twitter Tweets as blog posts.

I am now stooping to this level.

Actually, I’m 5′-2″ tall.

No stooping required. Already there.

Fucking sucks.

Below are some of my very own Tweets that I’ve subjected my 12 followers to.

Enjoy.

*************************

Having an argument on Facebook now about whether a begonia is an onion or a female hobo and whether or not you should pee on them either way.

Did anyone else watch the chimp attack victim footage from Oprah and think, “MY GOD…Unreal. Oprah looks like SHIT.” Or was that just me?

I was interviewed Monday by NOSSA – Nat’l Org. of Short Statured Adults. No shit. WE’RE ORGANIZED?! I’ve been just milling around and shit.

34 degrees and took the bike in. If anyone finds a small pair of testicles on 93 south in Massachusetts, please return them to me. Thanks.

tweet I got: “thanks moooooog great piece (yes, was a long one this morning)” ?! sadly, this was about my blog.

@FrankLeeMeiDere ‘Cranky and against everything’ is my middle name. Writing that shit out in first grade really sucked

Made a HUGE pile of leaves for the kids to jump in. What do they do in Florida? I’m guessing jump in piles of alligators and pedophiles.

Just heard one guy at work ask another if he ‘was keeping it real.’ It’s okay that I punch this asshole in the throat, right?

Jeez..make fun of Spanish people and suddenly you’re a ‘racist.’

A couple bounced from ‘Amazing Race’ cuz she won’t go down a fucking WATER SLIDE?! Are you f’ing kidding me?! She. Must. Pay. With. Anal.

Just pulled out my kielbasa. It was hard. Seriously..I’m having it for dinner tonight and it was frozen. You people are sick.

October 16th and it’s SNOWING?!?! SNOWING?!?! I would totally move to Florida if it didn’t smell like the elderly.

Done asking for donations with my daughter for soccer. At the state liquor store. At 9 am. There’s an attractive clientele, let me tell ya.

Spent 3 hours watching my daughter in single-game elimination soccer. I cheered for the other teams so I could go home, instead. Wrong?

@LivitLuvit You are my hero. Or heroin. Heroine. I don’t think you’d fit in a syringe.

I posted my Halloween entry. Yeah, it’s late. Like I give a shit. Speaking of giving a shit…be back in about 20 minutes. TMI?

What am I doing? I’m working. Work sucks. Work sucks more ass than Lindsay Lohan on a bender in a lesbian dance hall. that’s a lot.

*************************

If you’re linked to me on Facebook, you may have seen these as well.

If you want to find me in either place, click here.

Twitter at: http://twitter.com/moooooog35 or you can just click this button:

Find me at Facebook by clicking here:

You’ve been warned.

Tweet.

Contact

Posted: December 12, 2006 in contact me

So…you want to speak to me?

Fine.

All comments, complaints, guest post requests, ‘Dear Moog’ letters and nude photos (men only…NO! Wait! switch that!) may be sent to my attention at:

midgetmanofsteel@yahoo.com

You may also find me on:

Yahoo Instant Messenger as midgetmanofsteel.

Twitter at: http://twitter.com/moooooog35 or you can just click this button:

Find me at Facebook by clicking here:

That should be enough for now.

Moog out.

>Advertise on Mental Poo!

Posted: January 6, 2006 in contact me

>Pssst.

Hey. Hey you. In the trenchcoat and fishnet stockings.

Got a product or service you want pimped out?

Does it cater to a large band of groupies, miscreants and social deviants?

No?

Would you LIKE it to?

“Mental Poo” averages about 50k page hits PER MONTH from countries as far away as New Zealand, Australia (which I thought was the same as New Zealand) and Wisconsin.

If you’d like to get your product/service some exposure, I’d be more than happy to put it on my sidebar over there as long as you cut me in on some coinage.

My rates as of January 1, 2011 are as follows:

Simple Text Ad: $20/month
Small Graphic Ad: $30/month

If you want better rates by going yearly, let me know and we’ll talk.

You probably spend most of that in medication every week anyway.

If you’re interested in becoming an advertiser, email me at:

midgetmanofsteel@yahoo.com

We’re gonna be great together.