>Update on my Childhood Pneumonia Alcoholism Post

Posted: March 9, 2011 in kids, parenting, stories of me

>So I posted about how my parents used to kind of drug me into a stupor when I was a kid which, honestly, probably explains A LOT..

..but some people didn’t believe me.

*********************

UPDATE:

If you thought I was making this shit up, here’s an email I sent to my mom while I was writing that post trying to figure out the name of the shit they were giving me was, and what was actually in it that they were apparently trying to kill me with.

Here’s what I remembered was in it:

1) HOT Water
2) Orange juice
3) FUCKING MOLASSES WTF
4) Booze. Lots and lots of booze.

Why you can’t get this shit in a juicebox, I have no idea.

But that’s all I could remember was in it, so I emailed my mom:


OH. Lemon. Sorry.

I was missing the obvious miraculous healing properties of “Vitamin-C” in this adolescent version of a Harvey Wallbanger.

Also, based on my mom’s email, my family lineage includes a long line of parents trying to turn their small children into alcoholics.

Consider the torch passed, mom.


Oh, look.

ANOTHER INGREDIENT.

Nice.

Molasses AND honey.

Two. Natural. Laxatives.

Because once the kid wakes up in a week, it would probably be a great idea if he shit for three days just to make sure all the demons are out.

Makes sense.

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