The following post is rated “TV MLSA” for mature content, language, sex and some assplay.
My long time readers will recognize that I have a quite unorthodox relationship with my friend, Kristin.
By ‘unorthodox’ I mean ‘I try to get in her pants..and she thinks I’m kidding and then tells me stories about her diarrhea.’
And then I stop bother her for sex for, like, a couple of minutes or something because I’m too busy vomiting.
Here’s a sample of a recent IM conversation we had here at work.
We had just finished talking about going out for drinks on Election Day which I had to ask her was WHEN? because unless there’s nudity involved, I don’t really pay attention too much.
Gotta do SOMETHING at work, right? This is what we do.
This next part segues into a rant about this old jackass who sits across the row from me who is a cross between Mr. Rogers and some guy I want to kill because he chews with his mouth open ALL THE TIME and just generally annoys the piss out of me.
I’m assuming the only reason this chick married him is that he has a huge life insurance policy or some shit and she’s just waiting for him to die.
Or put a contract out on him.
Maybe I’ll hook her up with Kristin.
All guns. No sex.