Little Debbie Wants My Ding Don

Posted: September 13, 2010 in friends, kristin stories, work

My friend, Kristin, and I have too much time on our hands.

Well…I also have a little bit of toilet paper stuck there…but that’s because of my chronic masturbation.

Yet another episode of “Sick Instant Messages with Kristin and Rod.”


midgetmanofsteel: I wanna go home.

Kristin: i think i’m going to leave early

midgetmanofsteel: I need to start really playing Lotto..this working shit is for the birds.

Kristin: no shit. i hate it

midgetmanofsteel: not that I’m actually working or anything…every so often…like, once every three hours..I might do something.

midgetmanofsteel: other than that…it’s pretty much just drinking coffee and going to the bathroom.

midgetmanofsteel: I may send you a picture message next time I’m in there.

Kristin: that’s cool. i got really lazy here lately.


(editor’s note: I just noticed she wrote ‘that’s cool’ after I told her I’d send her a picture of my stool. WTF?!)


Kristin: i lost motivation

midgetmanofsteel: maybe you can look for motivation under my desk.


(editor’s note: Honey…that’s just a joke)

(editor’s second note: Kristin, ignore ‘just a joke’ note above..I’m dead serious)


Kristin: i don’t know if you noticed but some of the people in charge are like ding dongs

midgetmanofsteel: ding dongs? they’re round and chocolaty with a cream filling?

Kristin: not that good

midgetmanofsteel: you said ding dongs

midgetmanofsteel: personally, I’d prefer a ding dong over a twinkie


Sorry. Tangent.

Kristin: not ring dings

midgetmanofsteel: wtf is a ding dong, then?

midgetmanofsteel: are ding dongs the things that look like small black penises?

Kristin: devil dogs

Kristin: those are the penis shaped ones

midgetmanofsteel: no…not what I’m thinking…

Kristin: funny bones

midgetmanofsteel: I know what a devil dog is…remember…I was a giant fat shit of a kid.

midgetmanofsteel: you’re screwing me up now

Kristin: oh…do you remember star crunches?

midgetmanofsteel: little debbie

Kristin: y

midgetmanofsteel: she wanted my fat ass.

Kristin: i loved her

midgetmanofsteel: you were all lesbo for little debbie?

Kristin: no. i just liked her shit.

midgetmanofsteel: dude. that’s even worse

midgetmanofsteel: two girls, one cup..cake.

Kristin: lol

Kristin: her food

midgetmanofsteel: HO HO’s

midgetmanofsteel: what about these?

Kristin: oh yeah..those are good

midgetmanofsteel: actually..they look more like turds than black penises

Kristin: what about the choc covered wafer things

Kristin: i can’t remember what those were called

midgetmanofsteel: not sure…I think they were called, ‘choco wafer things’

Kristin: ah…they were called “wafers

midgetmanofsteel: wow…creative

Kristin: did you know the little debbie twinkie was called a “golden creme”

midgetmanofsteel: sounds hot.

Kristin: i thought so

Kristin: if you squeeze it hard enough the cream will shoot out

midgetmanofsteel: Hey, Little Debbie…want my golden cream?

midgetmanofsteel: it’s gold because I have an infection.



I don’t really have an infection.

Ding dong.

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