>Ms Sharon Wilfred wants my Love Shafd – PART TWO!

Posted: September 8, 2010 in spam spam eggs and spam

>
When we last left our hero (that would be me…how do you like my cape?)

..he had replied to Ms Sharon Wilfred’s weird request for friendship OUT OF THE BLUE, I might add, with an email consisting of references to Steve Perry, juggling, and a googly eye.

It’s how I roll.

After I sent my reply…I kind of did what I normally do which is go the bathroom sixteen times and randomly walk by my boss’ desk in a hurried fashion while mumbling some technological jargon like, “I can’t believe the IP stack is crashing the java code with an exception and firewall popup blocker anti-virus laptop” which makes it appear like I know what I’m doing and TOTALLY wasn’t expecting a reply from Ms Sharon Wilfred except..

INBOX (1)

She replied.


HOLY CRAP.

SHE REPLIED.

I’ve cut out a lot of the crap from the email..because it’s wicked long (twss) but if you want to see the letter in it’s entirety click here.

**************************

Hi,

Dear i want you to know that, Distance, country, or any biological nature, age is number what matters most is love and affection. I will need a serious relationship that will last.

I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment I, am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father’s treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father.

My father secretly deposited the sum of US$7,823,000.00 in Senegal.

It is my intention to compensate you with 30% of the total money for your services and the balance shall be my investment capital.

In the light of the above, I shall appreciate an urgent message indicating your ability and willingness to handle this transaction Sincerely.

Please below are the information’s i needed from you to put things into action.

1. Your Full Name …….
2. You’re Age ………
3. Your Occupation…………….
4. Your Home And Office Address………..
5. Your Telephone And Fax Number………..
6. Your picture…………

I am waiting for your confirmation of this mail to enable us discuss details ,agreed and give you bank contact where the money was deposited.

Thanks as I hope to receive from you soon.

Yours Sincerely,
Miss. Sharon Wilfred.

*************************

DAMMIT, IT’S A SCAM.

My luck SUCKS.

No romance. No friendship.

Just more nights of me sitting home watching Food Network.


So I wrote her back this email:

*************************

Hi Shar!

This sounds like an excellent plan!!

I will do all of this if you kindly tell me whether or not you fuck on the first date and, if so, if you’ll let me go all raw dog on you. That would be nice, since my sores are almost all in remission!

Sucks about your step mom. Let me tell you, I’ve been there, done that. Not getting beaten, but more of a pay-for-submissiveness thing and it required me converting money to Canadian.

ANNOYING.

Is she, like, beating you? Do you have any video of this? If not, can you describe it in graphic detail, because I will make flip-book sketches that I can use to masturbate to later and we can use the money from your dead father (may he rest in peace) to start a porn business.

BIG. BUCKS. IN AMERICAN PORN.

Trust me. I’m a former child actor.

Love you, you crazy rich stepchild you.

Let me know about the fucking thing. Important to keep this rolling.

Yours in Christ.

midgetmanfosteel

********************

And then..after I sent it I realized that item #6 on her list of things from me WAS A PICTURE.

She wanted my picture.

So I looked back at her email and LO AND BEHOLD

..she had previously attached a picture of HER:


Not one to disappoint my lovely Ms Sharon Wilfred…

I sent her an email with the pictures she requested:

********************

OMG OMG SHARON!!

I forgot. You wanted a picture of me!

I only have a picture of me with my friend, Juan, who I met at Hedonism when I was tricked to go there by that Canadian person who took my wallet but that’s a different story for a different time and you and I have forever together to discuss such trivial things.

You complete me.

So. I’m attaching a picture of me and Juan. Here you go:


And so you have a better picture of our happy future together, you hot piece of ass you, I took the liberty of including a picture of the two of us looking blissfully happy and probably with a brood of several children and maybe a ferret.


I fucking LOVE ferrets.

They tickle going in. You’ll see.

Muchos deneiros, my love!

midgetmanofsteel

**********************

I haven’t heard back from Ms. Sharon Wilfred.

I hope she’s just being beaten by her stepmom and not heartbroken or anything. I admit the ‘sword in the ass‘ was maybe a bit much for an introductory photo.

Should have gone with the ferret.

I think she would have liked that.

Moog out.

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