>Ms Sharon Wilfred wants my Love Shafd

Posted: September 6, 2010 in spam spam eggs and spam

>Give me an “S!”

Give me a “P!”

Give me an “A!”

Give me an “M!”

What’s that spell?

Two hours of me screwing off at work.

That’s what that spells.

I got the following email the other day:

I’m Ms Sharon Wilfred, can we talk,
i will want to get to know you better ,
Contact me with my private e mail address; sh_w231988@hotmail.com
I am an easygoing and understanding lady.
I see friendship as a gift we give to ourselves and i want you to be one of such gifts to me.
Talk to u soon .

Ms Sharon Wilfred.


Please note that the fact this came from ‘LoveShafd’ did not escape me.

Cuz..you know…it sounds like ‘love shaft.’

I’m 12.

Regardless..seeing as I was at work and really didn’t feel like working (typical) and I can’t simply just sit here and ignore Ms Sharon Wilfred because – hey – a friend is a friend and worst case I get my bank account wiped out but when it all boils down to it, losing 20 bucks seemed worth the risk.

So I replied.

Of course.


Hi Ms Sharon Wilfred!

Or..can I just call you Sharon? Are we at that point in this relationship yet? Sharon? Shar? Sharry?

OMG I love the song “Oh Sherrie” by Steve Perry (the guy from Journey with the great voice but unfortunately large nose). But you know what they say about guys with long noses, right?

If you do, please let me know…because I kind of made that up but now I’m curious if there really is a saying.

So..you want to be friends? Like pen pals? Or like a pet rock?

FYI – speaking of pet rocks, I have one googly eye. Always keep ’em guessing, that’s what I always say. Am I looking at you? At a star? Passing vehicle? YOU NEVER KNOW WITH ME AND MY GOOGLY EYE!!

I be crazy.

I hope you like crazy. Cuz you just bought yourself a great big bucket of it, Shar. I’m crazy. I’m crazy for YOU. I know we’ve only known each other for, like, 5 paragraphs but I feel a connection to you that I haven’t felt for a woman named Sharon Wilfred in a very long time.

I hope you feel the same.

I just touched my crotch.

I’m looking forward to our friendship gifts. What are they? Are they rings? Juggling balls? HAHAHA. I said ‘balls.’ Does that turn you on? It turns me on. Not the balls thing, the juggling thing. Jugglers are hot.

Trust me. I know. I’m one of them.

I just winked at you but you wouldn’t know it because of my googly eye.

Can’t wait to have a sleepover. We can make popcorn and wear feety jammies. I’m so excited Shar. I’m so excited my nose just got HUGE.

Steve Perry gets that joke.


Yours in Christ,



Then I sent it.




Stay tuned for THAT, though…this post is long enough as it is.

That’s what Ms Sharon Wilfred says…

..about my love shafd.

Mr. Sharon Wilfred out.


For the stunning conclusion to this saga, click here.


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