>God, I love effing with people.
Especially when I don’t have to pay for it.
Got this email from BlogCatalog:
(click to enlarge all images)
Melinda has posted a new message to your shoutbox:
Hi, added you as a friend and visited your blog. It is full of information, looks really nice.
Because when most people think ‘information’ they think ‘Mental Poo.’
So I replied:
Hi Minda83! Thank you for adding me as a friend! Do we have sex now? haha. kidding (not) I’m VERY glad you like all my blog’s information! Which topic do you like best? I’m partial to the ones where I discuss vaginas and penises (hint). What about you?
Then there was this one:
Hi, Promote your online business with free web marketing tips. I’ve added you as friend, hope you do the same. Let’s connect. Cheers!
Hi emarketinguide! You have a weird name. Is that Polish? I can’t wait to promote my business with you! Do u have the same laws on underage prostitution in Poland as we do? Not that that’s my business (wink), just a question. Arrividerci!
Hey there, I’m a political reporter and I’ve just re-launched my blog, Politics by Beast. I’ve been cited by both the New York Observer and the Huffington Post. Follow me, both on my blog and on Twitter. http://twitter.com/polibeast http://polibeast.blogspot.com/
Here asshole..follow THIS:
Oooh. That sounds exciting!! I’ve been cited, as well. Mainly by my local authorities for shit like public drunkenness and lewd behavior. I wish they’d post crap about public masturbation. It’s like we have to read cops’ minds or something.
No one ever ever writes me back.
The last one:
Hi friend i have added u in my frnd list, hope u do same plz follow my blog also http://www.mohdzaheerulhasan.blogspot.com Thanks dear..
NOW we’re talking.
So I click on the blog link to see whaddup wif da lady and I see THIS SHIT:
Dude. I checked out your site because I’m like, ‘WHOA – hot broad’ and it turns out you’re an INDIAN GUY who may or may not have helped me fix my laptop last week. Plus you called me ‘dear.’ I hope your country slips into the ocean.
I haven’t had any new BlogCatalog friend requests lately.
It’s a shame, really. I was starting to like it.