“You know you’re not handy when…”
Do you like your men burly and rugged?
Do you like your men self-sufficient and able to take on any task with ease?
Do you like your men with grease on their face, a dirty rag in their back pocket and a power tool in each hand?
Well, then, ladies…
You’re in the right place.
Because that guy sounds just like my contractor.
I’ll see if I can hook you guys up.
I’ll be in the living room playing XBox and eating Doritos.
Let’s just call that ‘Epic Fail’ and continue on with some examples, shall we?
YOU KNOW YOU’RE NOT HANDY WHEN:
1) Ten minutes into replacing a toilet seat, your kid knocks on the bathroom door and says:
“Hey…do you need help in there?”
It wasn’t humiliating enough realizing that I’ve been in here for TEN FUCKING MINUTES trying to remove a goddamn toilet seat, so could you please come in here and help me remove these two bolts?
You’re a dear.
2) Your entire tool kit consists of a power screw driver that may or may not work, three different sizes of ‘Robo Grips‘ that your father in law gave you 12 years ago, and some speaker wire.
I have a giant Sears tool chest that houses these four items and something else that resembles some type of shiv.
I SHALL BUILD A VILLAGE!!
Sanding the floor ahead of time was not an option as I was unable to figure out how to do it using speaker wire and Robo Grips.
This may also be the sign of a sick, sick fetish.
Don’t ask me how I know that.
I’m not proud.
I probably could have done that if I’d figured out how to use the damn Robo Grips.
I’d go try to find the instructions, but this XBox isn’t going to play itself.