Jesus is on my Buddy List

Posted: August 11, 2010 in I'm an asshole, work


Sometimes I like my job.

And by ‘sometimes’ I mean ‘never ever ever never.’

Except this one time.

I opened my work’s Instant Message program to talk to one of the developers.

Because my day isn’t complete without homosexually cyber-sexing a 400 pound man in a Jurassic Park t-shirt.

Don’t judge. These people need lovin’, too.

FREAKS.

Regardless, his name is Chris.

The last time I used Instant Messenger to talk to a developer here, it didn’t work out so well and involved a spontaneous discussion about cock rings.

Go figure.

Anyway, here’s how it went:

*************
Me: hey Christ

*************

Fuck.

Yes.

I called him Christ.


*************
Me: christ – hahahahaha

*************

Then..Chris’ response:

*************
Christopher: Yes my son.

*************

Awesome.

*************
Me: Just wondering if you can absolve me from my sins

Chris: HA

Me: Actually, I’ve got a question for you. But you probably knew that already..since you are all omnipotent and shit

*************

Then I went off to Google “omnipotent” because, honestly, sometimes I just throw things out there and hope they stick.

Yes that’s a penis reference.

Christ knows what I’m talkin’ about.

Jurassic Park shirts are HOT.

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