>My Job Moonlighting as "Dish Dolly R Us, Inc"

Posted: August 9, 2010 in I'm an asshole, spam spam eggs and spam

>I got this email the other day at my Yahoo account:

*******************

I am Mr. James Brown and i am contacting you to know if you do have Dish dolly for sale? I will like you to email me back if you do with the types and prices of the Dish dolly you have,Also do you accept credit cards as form of payment? am looking forward for your mail.Thank you very much.

My Regards..
Mr. James Brown
*********************

I have no idea what a ‘dish dolly’ is so I Google it thinking this is some weird scam thing but this is what comes up:

Oh.

So…

I emailed him back:

**************************

James,

I totally have a Dish Dolly. In fact, I have a rather large selection of Dish Dolly’s to choose from.

Are you looking for the standard or deluxe Dish Dolly model? Prices range from $300 for a low-level Dish Dolly to $57,000 for the creme-de-la-creme of all Dish Dolly’s, “The Liberace.”

Let me know.

William Schumaker
Dish Dolly R Us, Inc.
**************************

I figured that was the end of it.

Nope.

**************************

Thanks for the mail.I will want you to mail me with the cost for the standard once you have so that i can place my order.Do you accept credit card payment? Read from you soon.

**************************

Yay.

My reply:

**************************
James,

Just so you know what you’re getting, I’m attaching some brochures for the Dish Dolly’s we currently carry.

Our middle-of-the-line model, “The Pope Benedict XVI” (we had some technical problems with the XV model) is having some issues getting into the country from Iran due to a higher than normal Uranium content (wtf, Iran), but as soon as we are released from litigation by Homeland Security I will be able to show you that model as well.

Being a new company (two days and counting!), our brochures are still at the printers so instead I’m attaching some of the original sketches of the Standard and Liberace models and I think you’ll see, without a doubt, that you’d be better served with the Liberace Model and all it’s features.

I’m also attaching a picture of a rocket my son drew.

To answer your question, yes – I can accept credit card payment. But only if you use your credit card to get a cash advance and then mail me the money in an unmarked, plain manila envelope.

Cordially your servant,

William Schumaker
Dish Dolly R Us, Inc.

**************************

I haven’t heard from James Brown since.

This makes me sad because our “Pope Benedict XVI” model just cleared customs.

Figures.

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