Winning GBP is Like the Reverse of Losing PBG

Posted: July 28, 2010 in spam spam eggs and spam, the annoying shit I do

So I got me some more email the other day:

************************

From: Mercedes Benz
Subject: winner

Awarded 950,000.00 GBP in the Mercedes Benz Promo send details:
1.Name……..
2.Address…….
3.Tel…….

************************

Of course…I’m always excited about winning shit even if I don’t know what it is and that it’s PROBABLY not real but I should be receiving money any day now from that nice dead lady Claire Page.


So I replied:

************************

From: midgetmanofsteel@yahoo.com
To: jerry.smith2010@9.cn
Subject: Spam: Re: winner

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

I’m so excited!!

What’s a GBP?

Is it like a PBG but backwards?! Because that would make sense to me.

But, then again, Pam Anderson and Kid Rock made sense to me and we all know how that shit turned out.

Can I get an analogy high five? I think I can!

Regardless, as ‘winner’ I shall give you my details post haste as soon as I Google ‘post haste’ and someone tells me what the Hell a GBP is!

I would Google ‘GBP’ too but I fear it may be a huge waste of my time and resources based on the fact that I’m pretty much writing this to you while I’m working and they’re watching me.

Always watching.

LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!

Ha! You’re so cute when you get scared. I would pinch your cheeks but I know how much you Mercedes people hate that shit so I’ll just pinch your butler’s cheeks instead.

Crazy rich Mercedes people and your butlers. Is your butler named ‘Rodney?’ because most are and – COINKIDINK! – my name is ‘Rodney’ too! Therefore I shall pinch my own cheeks and we shall laugh and drink mimosas while sitting on our butlers!! I may even GET MY OWN BUTLER NAMED RODNEY and just call him “ME” and sometimes we’ll dress up as each other and confuse the world like in “Trading Places.”

Oh..I guess you now you know my first name.

I suppose that’s one question answered.

You’re welcome.

So..what’s a BGP?

Is it a leg-lamp? It’s a leg-lamp, isn’t it.

DON’T TELL ME I WANT IT TO BE A SURPRISE!

Signed,

Winner of something GBP-ish that may or may not be a leg lamp.

************************

They did not get back to me.

Fuckers.

Then I decided to Google it anyway because I can’t possibly work ANY LESS.


Man.

I’m guessing it’s the British pound shit.

I was really pulling for the leg lamp.

I guess I’ll just buy one with the money from Claire Page.

Moog out.

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