Cracker Barrel and the Explosive Diarrhea

Posted: July 26, 2010 in kids, parenting, poop

My son is awesome.

The wife and I took the kids to “Cracker Barrel” for breakfast the other morning.

Cracker Barrel ad:

“Come in for breakfast. No teeth? No problem.”

Seriously – half the people in there look like they bang their sisters.

For the record, I don’t have a sister.

Totally. Sucks.


Before we left, we told the kids to hit the bathrooms. I went into the men’s room with my son.

Son: “I have to go poop.”

Awesome.

Because I love hanging out in men’s rooms.

No – seriously.

It’s awesome.


Regardless, my son popped into a stall while I stood at the urinal myself.

Suddenly, the bathroom door burst open and a guy – in obvious bowel distress – goes shooting into the stall next to my son.

No sooner is the guy in the stall, sitting right next to my son separated only by a small metal wall…

…does the cacophony of fart fireworks and shit-expulsion sounds begin.

*BRRAAAAPPP! BRAAAP!! FWOOOPPP!!”

This guy had to shit badly.

*PPFFFFTTTTT!! PTHBTHBTHBTHBT!! BROOOOP!”


Then…

*cricket*

There was a short lull in the symphony…

It’s at this time that my son pipes up…

…and says to the guy in the stall:

“Excuse you.”

* cricket

Awesome.

Guys, ever try peeing at a urinal while you’re laughing? It’s difficult.

Probably not as difficult as it is to shit while you’re laughing – which the guy in the stall was now trying to do.

My son. Is. Awesome.

Plus, he has good manners.

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