The Nifty Snowman Sweater

Posted: July 21, 2010 in rants, wife, wtf


What the HELL is a “Nifty Snowman Sweater?

Anyone?

Anyone?

The wife and I were cleaning out our kitchen “junk drawer” the other day.

I believe EVERYONE has a drawer in their house/apartment (or box/glove compartment for you homeless readers out there) like this.

You know the one. The one drawer in your house that gathers all the shit that you don’t know where else to put it.

Me: “HEY! There’s my bologna sandwich from 1982!”

My bologna had a first name.

It was Jimmy. And he really freaked me the fuck out.


The contents:

Keys that unlock things that may or may not exist anymore.

Empty gum wrappers.

7,000,000 pens.

3,000 pencils, 12 of which actually have usable points.

5 working calculators.

2 broken calculators.

A small dog that may or may not have starved to death in there circa 1994.

And then there are…

Sticky notes.

Ah – sticky notes.

Some sticky notes have phone numbers on them with no names.

Some have names on them with no phone numbers.

In our case, one sticky note struck me as peculiar:

“Gotta get me one of those nifty snowman sweaters.”

Um.

What?


I looked at my wife – it was her writing.

Me: “What is this?”

*blink

Wife: “I have NO idea.”

Me: “When have you ever used the word ‘nifty?’ And why the Hell would you describe a SNOWMAN sweater that way?”

Wife shrugs.

Phew.

If she had found this note earlier, one of us would probably be wearing a fucking nifty snowman sweater right about now.

We dodged a bullet there.

Speaking of bullets, I found three of them in this drawer.

Interesting, since we don’t have any guns.

Nifty guns, at least.

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