New Hampshire: Live Free or Bang One of These Broads

Posted: July 14, 2010 in I'm an asshole, spam spam eggs and spam, wtf


An open letter to “MyYearbook.com”….

Dear MyYearbook.com,

I don’t know what you are or how you got hold of me.

But no…

I DON’T. NEED. A FUCKING DATE.

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been opening my inbox (that’s what she said) to find an email from MyYearbook.com telling me that I have been matched up with NEW DAILY DATES!!

Well..you know…

Go me.

Let’s just scroll on down here and take looksie at who you’re setting me..

..up…with…

* blink

THE HELL?

(click to enlarge…IF YOU DARE..)


Um.

What are those, elephant seals?

I had to doublecheck to make sure this was from Myyearbook.com and not PeopleOfWalmart.com.

Oh..oh look…you’re sending me MORE!


Interesting.

I had NO idea my penis could just detach itself and flee screaming.

I realize I’m not that great myself (lie) but seriously..this is the best you can come up with?

Because the last time I checked, I wasn’t an Interstate trucker in desperate need of a grandmother offering handjobs for a rock of crystal meth.

(They haven’t approved my application yet)

I mean..I even went to your site just to see if this was some weird inbreeding chat room shit and I see THIS on the front page:


The fuck.

Who do I have to blow to get THOSE suggestions?

I’m guessing I have to fondle the balls of the woman I got in photo number 3.

Just to recap:


Thanks MyYearbook.com.

You know how to make a guy feel special.

Like “King of the Trailer Park” special.

No offense, ladies.

Or guys.

Whatever the fuck you are.

Moog out.

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