You people are SICK.
This is why I love you.
Well..not so much “love” as “want to do that funny swirly thing to you.”
I think they’re the same.
My friend, Kristin, handed me one of the tags from her tea the other day.
Kristin: “Does this mean I should go home and masturbate?”
Me: “Yes. Yes it does.”
Me: “Your phone has a camera, right?”
The beauty of life is to experience yourself.
Apparently, “life was beautiful” for me at about 10:15 last night as I watched “Super Ninja Doll” on Cinemax.
Life was also beautiful for me in the shower at the gym this afternoon.
Helpful tip to the guys out there:
WEAR FLIP FLOPS IN THE LOCKER ROOM SHOWER.
That’s not shampoo on the floor.
By the way folks, the fact that Kristin received this via “tea bag” has not escaped me.
It’s how my mind works.
I can’t help but picture that shit.
Now I have to go experience myself.
Life is beautiful once again.
Third time today.
I’m gonna need to start using some type of lotion.