“Revenge is a dish best served cold.”
– Marie Joseph Eugène Sue
– Ken as he runs over Otto in ‘A Fish Called Wanda‘
“You might want to wait a few minutes before you go into that bathroom. I crushed a HUGE one out just now.”
– Me, like 10 minutes ago
I get a lot of comments after I write one of my posts about lying to my children and causing them mental anguish.
Usually they’re all like:
“Just wait until your kids become teenagers.”
“You’ll get yours when the kids get older.”
“BUY Cheap V!agr@ at low low prices!”
You know..you blow those ads off but you can get that shit really cheap.
Regardless, I’m fully expecting my kids to torture me WAY worse than I torture them when they get older.
I just hope they don’t do it this way.
When I was about 15 years old, my mother and I decided to head out to the video store to get a movie.
My father was not home from work yet.
As we were leaving the house, my mother looked at me and said:
Mom: “Rod..can you leave your father a note?”
Remember…although I’m only 15…
It’s STILL ME.
I can leave dad a note.
Sadly for my mother…
…she did not tell me what KIND of note to leave.
So I left this one:
(click to enlarge..that’s what she said)
Then we left.
On the way to the store:
Mom: “Did you leave dad a note?”
Me: “Oh yeah.”
We returned home to a partially destroyed house.
That was fun to see.
Amidst all the wreckage was my freaked out father who failed to see the hysterical humor in this.
Mom was a bit peeved, too.
Mom (standing on a pile of debris that was once our kitchen table): “WHY would you write a note like that?”
Me: “Well..you just said to write a note. You just didn’t say what it had to be about.”
* blink blink
It was on or about that time that I saw the joy of parenthood leave my mother and father pretty much for good.
I still don’t get what they were so upset about.
But I will, someday.
I know it.
I’m SO screwed.