There’s no way Turtle is scoring with Mary Ann.
Let me explain.
Every once in a while, they’ll come up with a decent recommendation for me on my next rental.
Other times, though.
I’ll get shit like this:
Based on your interest in “Entourage”…we recommend “Gilligan’s Island.”
I enjoy watching “Entourage” – an HBO show about an actor who gets laid every single afternoon…his whore brother…two of his whore friends and his agent.
Let’s check out some sample dialogue from Entourage:
Ari: You know what they feed people on an indie set, Vinnie? Nothing! They don’t give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?
Eric: Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could.
Vince: I do have great balance.
Ari: Let me be heard this time and I swear to God, you will be stronger than you ever were. Like Lance Armstrong, but with two balls.
Turtle: So, with all that dancing, can you do any crazy shit? You know, like put your legs behind your head.
Dancer: I told you, I have a boyfriend.
Turtle: You did. But you also said you lie to him. So, maybe you can tell him that we didn’t fuck today.
I love that show.
OK. Now onto ‘Gilligan’s Island.’
Skipper: Now is no time to panic, Gilligan.
Gilligan: It’s as good a time as any.
Skipper: Mr. Howell, you don’t know what its like being out there, you could get bitten by a shark!
Mr. Howell: A shark bite a Howell!? They wouldn’t dare!
Hello? You still awake?
Sorry…had to stop at two there.
Thanks, Netflix…but no fucking thanks.
The only correlation I see between these two shows is that the chicks Vince bangs on Entourage usually have nice coconuts.
Other than that…I got nothin’.
I need to get a job at Netflix and change the way they figure out these fucking recommendations.
…if I can’t get Netfux off the ground.
Any investors out there?