Johnny Drama Meets Ginger

Posted: April 13, 2010 in rants, wtf

There’s no way Turtle is scoring with Mary Ann.

Let me explain.

Friggin’ Netflix.

Every once in a while, they’ll come up with a decent recommendation for me on my next rental.

Other times, though.

I’ll get shit like this:


Oh.

Of COURSE.

Based on your interest in “Entourage”…we recommend “Gilligan’s Island.”

Um.

The Hell?

Let’s see…

I enjoy watching “Entourage” – an HBO show about an actor who gets laid every single afternoon…his whore brother…two of his whore friends and his agent.


So Gilligan’s Island is the next OBVIOUS choice for me.

Let’s check out some sample dialogue from Entourage:

*******
Sample #1:

Ari: You know what they feed people on an indie set, Vinnie? Nothing! They don’t give you a trailer. They tell you to go sit on an apple box. Ever try to bang an extra on an apple box?

Eric: Well, if anybody could do it, Vince could.

Vince: I do have great balance.

Sample #2:

Ari: Let me be heard this time and I swear to God, you will be stronger than you ever were. Like Lance Armstrong, but with two balls.

Sample #3:

Turtle: So, with all that dancing, can you do any crazy shit? You know, like put your legs behind your head.

Dancer: I told you, I have a boyfriend.

Turtle: You did. But you also said you lie to him. So, maybe you can tell him that we didn’t fuck today.

********

I love that show.

OK. Now onto ‘Gilligan’s Island.’


Sample dialogue from “Gilligan’s Island”:

********
Sample #1:

Skipper: Now is no time to panic, Gilligan.

Gilligan: It’s as good a time as any.

Sample #2:

Skipper: Mr. Howell, you don’t know what its like being out there, you could get bitten by a shark!

Mr. Howell: A shark bite a Howell!? They wouldn’t dare!

********

* cricket

Hello? You still awake?

Sorry…had to stop at two there.

Thanks, Netflix…but no fucking thanks.

The only correlation I see between these two shows is that the chicks Vince bangs on Entourage usually have nice coconuts.

Other than that…I got nothin’.

I need to get a job at Netflix and change the way they figure out these fucking recommendations.

You know…

…if I can’t get Netfux off the ground.

Any investors out there?

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Comments
  1. WILLIAM says:

    Bob Denver, I am sure, banged extras on apple boxes.

  2. Momma Fargo says:

    LMAO. No investors here…but I am sure you will find some. Great business venture idea. And porn is profitable. You can practice being a rich businessman by writing these stories in your bath robe, sporting a pipe and several dames with coconuts at your side.

  3. MommaKiss says:

    NetFux. Seriously Moooooog – issues! And I'd totally do The Professor. No beers needed.

  4. lacochran says:

    NetFux. Now there's a billion dollar idea.I'll bet that Lovey is one hot property.

  5. Don says:

    I watched Band of Brothers along with a couple of other older war dramas. Next up, according to Netflix, howz about some Lara Croft? What?! What the fuck does that have to do with my rentals? After watching it I've decided that Lara Croft works better for me anyhow. Now I'm hung up on Kill Bill…big! Uma and Angelina in latex. Beats the hell out of John Wayne getting shot in the fucking back trying to take Iwo.

  6. Aww man! And I was so excited when I thought your Turtle reference was a North Shore reference. I was about to high ten you all over the blogosphere.Nevermind now.

  7. Eva Gallant says:

    Are you sure Gilligan's Island isn't your dream flick??? lol

  8. Ed says:

    I'd like to be the first to sign up for a membership with Netfux.But if you send me anything with Ron Jeremy in it, I will burn this muther down!That is one nasty dude.

  9. Brutalism says:

    A lesbian friend of mine received a Netflix suggestion of a movie called "little girl lovers" So maybe sometimes they get it right.

  10. Rahul says:

    This is so obvious.On Gilligan's island they had Gilligan who was played by Bob DENVER, who wore a HAT.Turtle always wears a hat.done and done.

  11. Summer says:

    That's why I be like FUCK NETFLIX!

  12. sexnfries says:

    Only 4 beers??? To each their own I suppose lovely

  13. kathcom says:

    I loved Gilligan as a kid. I must've been sniffing glue. I did wonder why the professor could build a coconut phone but he couldn't fix their boat.Entourage is the only reason I don't want to see Jeremy Piven fed through a meat grinder. He's brilliant!I just checked Netflix and it's still recommending The King of Kong. I don't know why. Probably because I liked When We Were Kings.

  14. Kellie says:

    The only correlation I see is the chics on Gilligan's Island are in their bikinis most of the time and the chics on Entourage are in their undies or nothing most of the time. Yes. You will love Gilligan's Island. 🙂

  15. Mrsblogalot says:

    I couldn't concentrate past that picture of Vince up there. Sorry. He gets me every time.

  16. JenJen says:

    Moogsy I haven't came by in a while. I'm so sorry.

  17. I think Rahul nailed it. Exactly what I was thinking.Man I love Entourage. Gonna have to check out NetFux to get caught up, thanks for the reminder!

  18. Martie says:

    I love Netfuxs, but I pick my own movies/series/"steamy dramas". Hilarious post.

  19. Maxie says:

    Netflix told me to watch Wall-e. Then I cancelled my subscription.No, wait. That was LiLu. God, marriage sucks.Kidding,kidding– she's totally going to read this and divorce me.

  20. Are you kidding me? That Skipper is just a laugh riot.Um, not.Just as long as you don't start hatin' on the Brady Bunch.

  21. Kernut says:

    Sign me up for Netfux! I love it! I'll be your first customer. Can't afford to invest, but if I would I could! BTW – I saw Zombie Strippers a while ago. Great movie! Lots of funny lines, gratuitous nudity, and ZOMBIES! It's awesome. There are a couple movies with a similar title. All must haves for the Netfux rental library.

  22. Elly Lou says:

    I'm totally distracted by the image of John Denver banging extras on apple crates. What the fuck was I going to say? Oh something about dry humping castaways. Forget it, it's been washed away in the shiny cascade of a blond bowl cut singer and his guitar.

  23. I would be in a Ginger and Mary Ann sandwich with a little Mrs. Howell as a side dish.

  24. Sandee says:

    Honorable mention goes to Moooooog35 of Mental Poo with:After Mary Jane left, Peter Parker drowned his sorrows in a sea of Hot Pockets.Congratulations and thanks for playing this week. 🙂

  25. Salt says:

    Gilligan is the new Vince maybe?I trust you clicked on "Not Interested".

  26. Secretia says:

    Gilligan's Island, the most unrealistic of all the old tv shows.

  27. Laffylady says:

    Aww ..dont knock Gilligan Island..there was some hot tension between the Professor and Ginger…as a young man didn't you have the best fantasies about Ginger and Maryanne…together…..my hubs says Maryann was his all time fav..Woo Hoo..!I havent watched Entourage so I cant compare..maybe I should start..!

  28. LiLu says:

    I hope you patented "Netfux," because I AM GOING TO STEAL IT RIGHT NOW.

  29. Moooooog35 says:

    I can't believe I forgot to reply comment on all these things.Shit..um..To all: I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH YOU!There.That should do it.

  30. L says:

    OMG! From Entourage to Gilligan's Island. And just how many years did they live on that damn island? And none of them had sex? Sure, they didn't. I'm sure the Skipper bent over Gilligan more than once!

  31. Buggys says:

    I'm thinking the Professor was a bit of a scoundrel – off camera.

  32. idifficult says:

    That's almost as good as Amazon recommendations. Because you bought the "Little book of Farts" you'll be interested in sprouts.

  33. I watched Gilligan's Island for the articles.

  34. I really used to LOVE Entourage, but the last two seasons? Not so much.

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