Posted: February 9, 2010 in friends, mental poo looza, search results

Ah…to be a scientist.

I got an email the other day from one of my friends from High School.


Rob is credited as being the only other person in the kitchen when I worked as a chef to conduct science experiments in the walk-in freezer.

What’s that waitress?

You have an order for baked stuffed lobster?

Sure thing.

I’ll get to it as soon as I calculate how much more mold grew on this piece of ham since last week.

Priorities, you know.

Turns out that the calculation took more time than I thought, since the ham actually grew limbs and then started fucking the provolone.

Ever try to separate horney limbed ham from violating it’s “love cheese?”

I’ve done it more than once and I can tell you that’s some tough shit, my friends.

Tough. Shit.

(“Horney Limbed Ham” and/or “Love Cheese” would be great names for rock bands)

Yes..they’re on the shirt.

Regardless, here’s the email I get:



You will never believe what came up as the first result in Google when I searched on:

ripped abs lesbians

I was searching for purely scientific reasons of course….

…or it was a typo, I forget which.

– rob


Ah…to search for hardbodied carpet munchers in the name of science.

I believe that’s how Newton discovered gravity.

He saw two ripped abs lesbians going down.




He either discovered it that way or something involving fruit.



Mental Poo came up in FIRST in a search for ‘ripped abs lesbians.’

Thanks for padding my search results, Rob, with even more freakier shit than usual.

I had no idea that was possible.

Moog out.



Just so you guys know I’m not making this shit up, I decided to take a screen shot of my latest search results from this morning.

What I’m not telling you is that the source from all of these are my house.

It’s a crazy zoo in here, full of apples and lesbians and elephantitus afflicted mentally challenged porn stars.

So. Awesome.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s