Twix or Tweets – Volume One

Posted: November 23, 2009 in about me, contact me, twitter tweets, wtf

You knew it was coming.

(hands woman a towel)


Got disgusting there right off the bat.


I’m actually talking about this post.

The latest rage for bloggers is to self-promote themselves by reposting some of their Twitter Tweets as blog posts.

I am now stooping to this level.

Actually, I’m 5′-2″ tall.

No stooping required. Already there.

Fucking sucks.

Below are some of my very own Tweets that I’ve subjected my 12 followers to.



Having an argument on Facebook now about whether a begonia is an onion or a female hobo and whether or not you should pee on them either way.

Did anyone else watch the chimp attack victim footage from Oprah and think, “MY GOD…Unreal. Oprah looks like SHIT.” Or was that just me?

I was interviewed Monday by NOSSA – Nat’l Org. of Short Statured Adults. No shit. WE’RE ORGANIZED?! I’ve been just milling around and shit.

34 degrees and took the bike in. If anyone finds a small pair of testicles on 93 south in Massachusetts, please return them to me. Thanks.

tweet I got: “thanks moooooog great piece (yes, was a long one this morning)” ?! sadly, this was about my blog.

@FrankLeeMeiDere ‘Cranky and against everything’ is my middle name. Writing that shit out in first grade really sucked

Made a HUGE pile of leaves for the kids to jump in. What do they do in Florida? I’m guessing jump in piles of alligators and pedophiles.

Just heard one guy at work ask another if he ‘was keeping it real.’ It’s okay that I punch this asshole in the throat, right?

Jeez..make fun of Spanish people and suddenly you’re a ‘racist.’

A couple bounced from ‘Amazing Race’ cuz she won’t go down a fucking WATER SLIDE?! Are you f’ing kidding me?! She. Must. Pay. With. Anal.

Just pulled out my kielbasa. It was hard. Seriously..I’m having it for dinner tonight and it was frozen. You people are sick.

October 16th and it’s SNOWING?!?! SNOWING?!?! I would totally move to Florida if it didn’t smell like the elderly.

Done asking for donations with my daughter for soccer. At the state liquor store. At 9 am. There’s an attractive clientele, let me tell ya.

Spent 3 hours watching my daughter in single-game elimination soccer. I cheered for the other teams so I could go home, instead. Wrong?

@LivitLuvit You are my hero. Or heroin. Heroine. I don’t think you’d fit in a syringe.

I posted my Halloween entry. Yeah, it’s late. Like I give a shit. Speaking of giving a shit…be back in about 20 minutes. TMI?

What am I doing? I’m working. Work sucks. Work sucks more ass than Lindsay Lohan on a bender in a lesbian dance hall. that’s a lot.


If you’re linked to me on Facebook, you may have seen these as well.

If you want to find me in either place, click here.

Twitter at: or you can just click this button:

Find me at Facebook by clicking here:

You’ve been warned.



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