Try it at Home, Kids: What’s a Motto With You?

Posted: June 24, 2009 in Jesus Christ I'm even starting to annoy myself, whats a motto with you

It’s another episode of Moooooog’s “Try it at Home” series!

It’s like a home improvement show.

You know.

Except without the home.

And improvements.

So, nothing like that at all.

I have no other analogy.

Thesauruses are fucking useless.

Once again I give you another annoying thing that I do on a regular basis.

On a related note:

My friends call my wife “Saint Jen.”

Today’s thing:

What’s a Motto?

Admittedly, probably my most annoying habit.

You know that old joke?

Man #1: “What’s that?”

Man #2: “It’s a motto.”

Man #1: “What’s a motto?”

Man #2: “I don’t know…what’s a motto with you?”

HA HA!!

That shit kills in Vegas.

This is why I don’t go.

Plus the heat.

I get swamp ass pretty easily.

I’ve digressed.


Regardless…I take that same joke…

…but apply it to pretty much everything else I’m asked.

Daughter (reading a sign from the back of the car): “Daddy, what’s a rebate?”

Me: “I don’t know…what’s a rebate with you?”

OH! OH MAN!

ZING!!


Or this:

Me: “..so if our house doesn’t assess high enough, we’ll have to pay PMI.”

* pause

Wife: “What’s PMI?”

Me: “I don’t know, what’s PMI with you?”

HA!

I sold it! You bought it! No refunds!

See?

No need for Vegas.

Well…except maybe for the cathouses.

They don’t care how annoying you are as long as you can pay.

I have a Gold Card.

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Comments
  1. Mike says:

    The midget man of steel with swamp ass? No wonder you like French Canadian strippers.

    That's like a tip to them.

  2. Maxie says:

    I love swamp ass. It's definitely my favorite part about summer.

  3. justjp says:

    Swamp ass and the dreaded swamp balls can plague us all.

  4. DouglasDyer says:

    Man, I've got enough of my own problems. No way am I making myself more annoying on purpose. KIDDING! Of course I will. My joke that never gets old to me is when my wife asks what I ate for lunch I always say "The Number 2". Am I talking about a value menu or poo? See? Hilarious!!!

  5. Christina_the_wench says:

    Quit taking pictures of my ass. Damn….

  6. Blonde Goddess says:

    Some people call it swamp ass but I prefer the term "crack juice". It just paints a different picture for me…

  7. moooooog35 says:

    Mike: I get swamp ass as regularly as Oprah gets hunger pains.

    I go through a TON of underwear.

    Maxie: Hot..yet…eerily disturbing.

    Be mine!

    Justjp: "Dreaded Swamp Balls" sounds like an appetizer at Chili's.

    Doug: My guess is that our wives are calling each other right now discussing the creation of a support group.

    Christina: Well..stop posting them on 'ratemypoo.com' and I won't have to.

    BG: It DOES paint a different picture, you're right.

    Shit like that is why I don't go to art museums.

  8. LBluca77 says:

    Swamp ass is sexy!

  9. GoingLikeSixty.com says:

    Is this trait why your family refers to you as Fibromyalgia?

    If I had more than just a caretaker living with me, I would steal this bit.

  10. Kellie says:

    I always use the line "you are". Like when someone tells me they are bored I come back w/ "you are" or if someone tells me I'm dumb, nope "you are". Kind of like yo mama but not quite. I know. I'm quick witted.

  11. Bird Shit and Baby Caca says:

    Know what’s awesome in the summer? Swamp ass and leather seats….. sweet…lol!

  12. PhilipDyer says:

    You can also reply to any word that ends with an "er" sound by repeating the word and then saying "But I hardly know her!" Works best with the words poker and liquor.

  13. Becky..AMHW says:

    My Vegas swamp ass is charming, thank you very much.

  14. Bon Don says:

    Swamp ass, crack juice… this is why your blog kicks all the other blogs in the moose knuckles! u rock Mr. Moooooog

  15. The Peach Tart says:

    us ladies get swamp tits

  16. moooooog35 says:

    Lbluca: Then step right up and call me Fabio!

    Going60: Fibro…fibromylo…

    Dude, if I have to Google it, it ain't worth it.

    Kellie: you are?

    Bird Shit: (wow..weird) – yeah..that sounds really hot. And when I say 'hot' I mean 'gross, woman…gross.'

    Phil: Imagine what Ted Kennedy's house would sound like if they all did that.

    Becky: Vegas swamp ass? Does that mean you put all your money on brown?

    Bon: My intention was not to kick anyone in their moose knuckles.

    My apologies if your moose knuckle is fucking killing you.

    Peach Tart: You sound hot.

  17. meleah rebeccah says:

    "My friends call my wife "Saint Jen."

    I can see WHY!

  18. Un[Censored] says:

    Swamp Ass. Reminds me of that Man Show Skit….I'll post it on my site for you, this could help with that whole crack juice problem.

    http://weekfullofmondays.blogspot.com

  19. Narm says:

    Reminds me of last weekend –

    Me – I have the herp.

    Her – What's the herp?

    Me – Nothing – what's the herp with you!

    Oh how we laughed.

  20. Malach the Merciless says:

    So when does Rod & Jen plus 2 make it TLC Debut?

  21. moooooog35 says:

    Meleah: Really? Cuz I don't get it.

    UnCensored: You know…I want to be done with the whole 'crack juice' thing.

    Makes me thirsty.

    Narm: It's memories like that that make life worth living.

    That, and porn.

    Malach: As soon as that bitch moves the fuck out. Poor Jon. Poor Jon.

  22. AD says:

    Lol, you never fail to make me laugh.

    :]

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