Try it at Home, Kids: Fly With Purple Skeletons and That’s Why

Posted: June 17, 2009 in I'm an asshole, try it at home kids, wife

Before I start:

Don’t forget the BIIIIIIIG contest that I started yesterday.

You can win an authentic “Mental Poo” Mug!

Which, you know…

…you can also buy at my store.

Fine.

Contest ain’t that big.

You have 6 more days to enter!

Now…ONWARD!!

***********************

It’s another episode of Moooooog’s “Try it at Home” series!

Hooray.

For me.

Hooray for me.

Woohoo.

You know, it would really help my self asteem if you’d at least snap your fingers or some shit.

Thanks.

Today, I give you yet another annoying thing that I do on a pretty regular basis.

Amused, my wife is not.

Yoda was the fo-shizzle.

Today’s thing:

The Unintelligible Reply

I hate when this shit happens.

I’ll be upstairs or somewhere TOTALLY out of earshot…

…and my wife (or Asian prostitute – depends on the day and time)

…shouts something to me from, like, down in the basement totally out of earshot.

Wife (yelling because she’s 900 feet away): “ROD?!”

Me: “WHAT?!?”

Wife: “Where is the mwaang get the gwaangh slee bwith mapeph?”

* blink

What the fuck did she just say?

Anyone know? Anyone?

Because I have no fucking clue.

No.

No one knows.

No one knows because she’s on a different floor of the house…at the total opposite end…

…probably behind cardboard boxes or my stained Elvira Halloween cutout (good times…good times) and shouting some shit to me at the top of her lungs and I can’t understand a fucking word she’s saying.


So I shout back something like this:

Me: “I put the blue ladder up the kitchen to get the green sneakers!!”

* silence

After about 10 seconds of my wife trying to process what the fuck she just heard, I get:

Wife: “WHAT?!?!”

Me: “EXACTLY!!”

Most times, my wife wants to kill me.


Par for the course really.

Hold on…she’s calling me now for something.

Me: “I PUT IT OVER THE BLANKET WITH THE HAT IN THE ELF RAINBOW!”

Seriously.

She’s going to kill me.

Go ahead kids:

Try it at home.

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