Traumatizing Your Kids this Memorial Day

Posted: May 25, 2009 in holidays, sad teaching stories, wtf

Well…today is Memorial Day.

My wife was home the other night trying to find Memorial Day coloring pages for her Kindergarten class.

She teaches in an inner-city school.

If the kids aren’t coloring something…

…they’re usually coming at you with homemade shivs.

Sporks can be deadly in the hands of the wrong 5 year old.

So, my wife was looking for some coloring pages for the kids so they had something fun they could do for Memorial Day.

Here are a couple of the fun Memorial Day coloring pages she found:

Happy Memorial Day, kids!!

Here…why don’t you color in this photo of a guy who is obviously suffering from depression…

…as he lays down flags at the graves of his fellow comrades…

…as the piercing pain of him having to deal with the fact that he survived the ambush while his friends did not eats away at his very soul until the day he dies.

Oh – look…


Let’s see if we can find something a little less heavy for you kids to color…


Here’s one:

Oh. Look.

A widow.

Well isn’t that fucking cheery.


Dear Coloring Page Inventor people,

I understand that Memorial Day is about remembering our brave soldiers.

The holiday is to remind us to never forget and commemorate those who have fought and died to preserve the liberties of this great nation.

But, dude, these kids are fucking five years old.

Helpful tip in making up your coloring pages:

More flags and parades. Less suicidal and depressed people in cemetaries.

Thanks in advance.


Happy Memorial Day.

And thanks to all our soldiers out there…and here’s to returning home safely.

Like this guy did.

Moog out.


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