Today I’m reviewing the NEW movie:

Star Trek


I wanted to LOVE this movie.

I wanted to see this movie badly enough to stick my wife with the kids and the lawn mowing duties on Mother’s Day while I went to see it.

I’m a good husband.


If you’re familiar with the original TV series, the movie introduces us to all of the characters we already know…but gives them a backdrop on how they came together to form the Enterprise crew.

If you’re not familiar with the characters, you won’t get a few subtle references…but the plot is written out fairly well so you get an introduction to them all and get to know their characters.

The plot?

Well…let’s just say that the overriding plot point is what did the movie in for me and turned it from an:

“OH MY GOD I HAVE TO SEE THIS MOVIE”

…to…

“It was very good…not pee your pants fantabulous.”


The Pros:

1) The opening scene BEFORE the title sets the stage for the action that will follow

2) The special effects are fantastic. At NO point did I watch this thinking, “oh…blatant cartoon shit.”

3) Lieutenant Uhura is a goddamn FOX in this version. Holy shit.

There’s an entire ‘black hole‘ reference that can be made, but I’ll refrain right now.

Um.

Woops.


The Cons:

1) The plot

Listen.

I watch ‘Lost.’

If you watch Lost, and you’re starting to get sick of all the “time travel jumping back and forth shit”, you’re probably going to do the same thing I did when I realized that half the story in this movie involved “time travel jumping back and forth shit”:

Me: “Jesus Christ. Time travel back and forth shit?”

If you DON’T watch Lost, then just know there’s time travel back and forth shit.

Hey, J.J. Abrams:

WE GET IT.

You have a fucking thing with time travel in your stories.

GET. OVER IT.

Please.


2) The guy playing Dr. McCoy tries too goddamn hard

If you know the original series, probably the best character out of that was Dr. Leonard McCoy (Bones).

Here, in the movie, the guy playing Bones tries SO HARD to get down Bones’ mannerisms and speech that you feel like he’s at a roast doing impressions of the guy.

It was a little over the top for me.


However, again, if you didn’t watch the series, you’ll probably find him funny (as he was in the show).

3) Leonard Nimoy. Really?

Seriously…in a BRAND NEW movie remaking the thing from scratch…

…they have to bring in one of the original members for – NOT JUST A CAMEO – but a VERY LONG and involved character?

Oh.

That’s because he’s from the fucking future.

(see bitch #1)

J.J. Abrams….you’re fucking killing me.

HOWEVER…

That said, it was a good movie. The special effects and action alone probably make it worth seeing.

My Score:

3 Mooge Splats (out of a possible four)


Now excuse me…

I have to go rewatch last weeks’ episode of “Lost.”

Seriously…this shit’s starting to confuse the fuck out of me.

Moog out.

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Email me here, or via the link on the right of the page and we’ll see what we can do.

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Haven’t had enough?

Come swing by and see me at my other blog, Mental Poo.

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