Do You Like Me (check ‘Yes/No’)

Posted: April 2, 2009 in friends, relationships


Mike is a PLAYER.

Today, I bring you single men out there a valuable service.

No, it’s not fellatio.

(that will cost you $5.99, six box-tops from your Cap’N Crunch Cereal, and you have to sign this waiver stating that you won’t sue me if I drag my teeth)

** Special “Mental Poo” Clip-N-Save version **

One of the guys I work with sent me this via email:

*********************
From: Mike T

When girls attempt to introduce us to their friends, we have them fill this form out.

Surprisingly it is batting 1000 and they eat it up.”

**********************

He attached this:

(click to enlarge…that’s what she said)



Awesome.

A blind date questionnaire.

When do you use this?

1) Does a girl want to set you up with her friend with the “great personality?”

This means she could potentially scare children without makeup…

…or has the ability to hide sandwiches under her fifth belly fold.

Mmmmm….

Sandwiches.

If so:

Hand her the form.


2) Does your sister have “an energetic friend with a great sense of humor?”

Sense of humor = unattractive.

Oh.

I have a great sense of humor.

But guys are allowed to be “super sexy” and “hot” and “premature ejaculators” without the stigma associated with a “great sense of humor.”

My blog. My rules.

Suck it.

There is the odd case where “great sense of humor “ accompanies “eh..maybe only two beers to bang it”…

…but those are few and far between.

But typically a GIRL being described as having a “great sense of humor” sight unseen?

This means that she’s extremely annoying and – possibly – a man.

Hand her the form.


3) Hot chick in the bar tells you that her friend thinks you’re hot and wants to buy you a drink?

No need for the form here.

The friend is the wing-woman for the hot chick and, therefore, is probably desperate and will do all kinds of crazy shit.

The later in the evening the crazier.

This may be the perfect time to test out The Cleveland Steamer.

You clicked on the link, didn’t you?

The more you know.


Mike is saying that this questionnaire has been working for him.

I have to tell you…

I’ve smelled his penis up close, and believe he’s telling the truth.

Yeah – I had to fill out the form first and he had to sign my waiver.

We’re sticklers for shit like that.

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