Would I Lie to You – Part Douche (that’s French for ‘two’)

Posted: March 5, 2009 in about me, meme


The other day, I wrote a list of truths about myself

…all in song titles.

Today…you get the bullshit.

Actually, MORE bullshit than usual.

It’s like payday for you!

Here goes:

Some lies about myself in song titles.

1) Big balls

I’m fine with this because of my tiny frame.

If these things were any bigger, I’d trip all the time.

And no one likes tripping on their testes.

No one.


2) Fuck Like a Beast

I’m awesome.

However, this may become a truth if the “beast” in question has a tiny wiggly, needs Levitra, and can last only approximately 3 or 4 minutes.

Seriously.

I’m starting to depress myself.


Two side notes:

a) W.A.S.P was fucking AWESOME
b) apparently, I stole the “add a * into the word f*ck” from W.A.S.P….who knew?

3) I Believe I Can Fly

A broken fibula showed me the light on this one.

Damn you, model glue!

Why must you smell so good?!


4) I Touch Myself

Ha!

Just seeing if you were paying attention.

Okay…back to the lies:

4) Sussudio

I have no idea what this means.


5) Seventh Son of a Seventh Son

I’m an only child.

This is why Mr. Wiggly and I are such good friends.

Aren’t we, Mr. Wiggly? Coochie-coochie-coo!

We ARE good friends, huh?

Why yes, we are…yes we…

Um.

Sorry.


My mother, however, is one of 13 kids.

13 goddamn kids.

Way to nail that ‘tang, grandpa!!

Guy musta had some big balls.

Ugh…I think I just made myself throw up in my mouth a little.

************************

There you go.

If you’re interested in doing this, have at it.

I don’t tag people ever since I got teased in the 8th grade for actually playing tag instead of smoking pot with the rest of the kids.

This is also why I have “a list.”

Just link back to whoever you got the idea from.

It’s the nice thing to do.

Enjoy.

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