"A Woman’s Needs" – Oh…One More Thing

Posted: February 23, 2009 in friends, sex, spam spam eggs and spam

I love getting emails from my friends.

If not for this reason or this one, then for the following.

The other day, I got an email from my friend, Janet.

I used to work with Janet in Technical Support for an Internet Security Company.

On a related note:

Most of you people are fucking stupid.

Back to Janet:

She was the only woman in a group of guys – which included me.

As such, Janet learned a lot of new…um…“terms.”

Janet never understood a single one.

Naive, she was.

So, every day, you would hear her get on the phone to her husband, Bill, and say stuff like:

“Honey – what’s thing thing they call a ‘penis?'”

Bill is not a lucky man.

Fine…she wasn’t THAT bad.

But you would hear her call her husband trying to clarify some of the shit us guys were talking about.

“Hey..it’s me. What’s a ‘Dirty Sanchez?'”

“Hey…me again. Do you know what a ‘tossed salad’ is?”

“Okay. The guys said you’d know what a ‘shocker‘ is.”

“Me again. Have you ever ‘teabagged‘ me?”


Men are classy around ditzy broads.

So, Janet sends me and seven fucking hundred other people an email with a PowerPoint slide show.

It’s called:

“A Woman’s Needs”

(all men reading this simultaneously fall asleep)

Here it is:

From: Janet
To: (giant list of people Janet wanted to annoy)
Subject: A Woman’s Needs


* cricket

Is this thing on?

Yeah. Fucking hilarious.

Not to be outdone…

…I replied:

From: Rodney
To: (Janet and her giant list of email recipients)
Subject: Something Else a Woman Needs

Hey Janet,

I thought of one more thing a woman needs.

I’ve taken the liberty of drawing it up for you and attaching it.

You’re welcome.

P.S., ten bucks says you have to ask Bill what it means.


Then…I attached…this:

I wonder if she had to send it to her husband.

Poor bastard.

Any ditzy broads out there not figure it out yet?

Like I said…

…men are classy.

Now…open up.

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