The Shit I Get

Posted: December 8, 2008 in shit people send me


People send me things.

Not the things I want, mind you.

(read: money…porn…porn wrapped with money)

Other things.

I’m not sure why.

My buddy, Bill, sent me this the other day:


Um.

I feel a need to write to this guy in the picture.

***************
Dear Sir,

What. The F*ck.

Signed,

Moooooog

***************
Why? Why do this?

It’s obviously not to impress the ladies.

Mom: “So…are we meeting this new man of yours tonight?”

Daughter: “You’re going to love him. He’s sweet…and he’s funny. OH! And he has a haircut shaped like a guy taking a shit on the back of his head.”

It’s obviously not to impress his boss.

Boss: “You know, Lou…we’ve had this CFO position open for a while now…just waiting for the right candidate to come along. I think that shaving of a man dropping a deuce carved into the back of your skull is JUST the thing we’ve been looking for. Welcome to the club, son!”

I. I. I don’t…understand.

And, now that I think about it…I don’t really want to.

Thanks, Bill.

Midleah, on the other hand, sent me the following video clip.

It’s KINDA porn…but not really.

Viewer discretion is advised.

Diesel’s SFW XXX Party Clip – Watch more free videos

This has to be one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while.

And it didn’t confuse me like the haircut of the guy shitting on the back of the head did.

Seriously…folks, if you’re going to send me something, remember this simple rule:

More porn, less guys with shit haircuts.

Thanks in advance.

Moog out.

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Comments
  1. Midleah says:

    It never gets old, really.

  2. Midleah says:

    It never gets old, really.

  3. LBluca77 says:

    You know I have been thinking about getting a new hair cut and just was not sure what I wanted to do. Well know I know.

  4. LBluca77 says:

    You know I have been thinking about getting a new hair cut and just was not sure what I wanted to do. Well know I know.

  5. Poetry Sue says:

    mmmmm poop in the hair

  6. Poetry Sue says:

    mmmmm poop in the hair

  7. Becky..AMHW says:

    So…I had this other search term this weekend…and uh…

    Wait.

    You don’t need to see a photo of “gay bear mullet”.

    I mean, it’s porn, but yet it’s a shit haircut.

    Sigh. I’ll look at it by myself then.

  8. Becky..AMHW says:

    So…I had this other search term this weekend…and uh…

    Wait.

    You don’t need to see a photo of “gay bear mullet”.

    I mean, it’s porn, but yet it’s a shit haircut.

    Sigh. I’ll look at it by myself then.

  9. fiona says:

    Well the video sure woke me up!
    Got to go mop up a whole cup of spilled coffee now…thank you very much. LMAO

  10. fiona says:

    Well the video sure woke me up!
    Got to go mop up a whole cup of spilled coffee now…thank you very much. LMAO

  11. Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts says:

    LOL!!! Ok, what the hell was dude thinking with that haircut?

  12. Tee aka The Diva's Thoughts says:

    LOL!!! Ok, what the hell was dude thinking with that haircut?

  13. Narm says:

    My erection is confused.

  14. Narm says:

    My erection is confused.

  15. Chris Wood says:

    That video is superb!

  16. Chris Wood says:

    That video is superb!

  17. Hungry Mother says:

    How do you order a haircut like that? Could I get one with a Scarlett Johannson profile?

  18. Hungry Mother says:

    How do you order a haircut like that? Could I get one with a Scarlett Johannson profile?

  19. Kellie says:

    Dang it. I’ll have to watch the video later at home. Don’t feel like getting fired b/c then I’ll have to cut my hair like that guy to try to get my boss to realize what a superb talent he got rid of.

  20. Kellie says:

    Dang it. I’ll have to watch the video later at home. Don’t feel like getting fired b/c then I’ll have to cut my hair like that guy to try to get my boss to realize what a superb talent he got rid of.

  21. Mike says:

    The video was interesting. I may try those. One a week. And then start over.

  22. Mike says:

    The video was interesting. I may try those. One a week. And then start over.

  23. Dr Zibbs says:

    Hysterical.

  24. Dr Zibbs says:

    Hysterical.

  25. Knight says:

    Mmmm corn on the cob!

    That is literally a shitty haircut. He couldn’t find anyone with better buzzer skills?

  26. Knight says:

    Mmmm corn on the cob!

    That is literally a shitty haircut. He couldn’t find anyone with better buzzer skills?

  27. moooooog35 says:

    Midleah: Thanks! oh…you weren’t talking about me?

    Poetry Sue: Woman…kinda disturbing.

    Becky: is there any other kind of mullet?

    Fiona: I’m here to help. Or make a mess. Your choice, really.

    Tee: ten bucks says he thinks it’s a nazi symbol. Wait til he gets home.

    Narm: Does that mean it bends sideways?

    Chris: I didn’t make it but thanks!

    Hungry: Sure..go do that. Then try to get all the guys to stop screwing your ear.

    Kellie: wuss.

    Mike: Five of them. Wha?

    Dr. Zibbs: You expect LESS?!? I’m outraged!!

    Well..not outraged. Maybe a little less miffed.

    Knight: (insert ‘eating corn the long way’ joke here)

  28. moooooog35 says:

    Midleah: Thanks! oh…you weren’t talking about me?

    Poetry Sue: Woman…kinda disturbing.

    Becky: is there any other kind of mullet?

    Fiona: I’m here to help. Or make a mess. Your choice, really.

    Tee: ten bucks says he thinks it’s a nazi symbol. Wait til he gets home.

    Narm: Does that mean it bends sideways?

    Chris: I didn’t make it but thanks!

    Hungry: Sure..go do that. Then try to get all the guys to stop screwing your ear.

    Kellie: wuss.

    Mike: Five of them. Wha?

    Dr. Zibbs: You expect LESS?!? I’m outraged!!

    Well..not outraged. Maybe a little less miffed.

    Knight: (insert ‘eating corn the long way’ joke here)

  29. AngieSS says:

    Woot! I absolutely loved that video! Seriously, the best porn I’ve ever seen hands down. :o)

    Um, as for the guy with the “shitty” haircut…he needs a brain.

  30. AngieSS says:

    Woot! I absolutely loved that video! Seriously, the best porn I’ve ever seen hands down. :o)

    Um, as for the guy with the “shitty” haircut…he needs a brain.

  31. rs27 says:

    I just want to be there when he tells the barber what he wants.

    Reality show gold!

  32. rs27 says:

    I just want to be there when he tells the barber what he wants.

    Reality show gold!

  33. Mike says:

    Wow…talk about a shitty haircut. The lady that cuts my hair gives haircuts like that all the time…without even trying to.

    But she has nice boobs, so I don’t give a crap that she can’t cut hair.

  34. Mike says:

    Wow…talk about a shitty haircut. The lady that cuts my hair gives haircuts like that all the time…without even trying to.

    But she has nice boobs, so I don’t give a crap that she can’t cut hair.

  35. catscratch says:

    I would think at this almost advanced stage in life that you’d have an amazing porn collection?

    I’m taking a trip to Adult World next week, what kind of wicked evil porn does your little heart desire??

  36. catscratch says:

    I would think at this almost advanced stage in life that you’d have an amazing porn collection?

    I’m taking a trip to Adult World next week, what kind of wicked evil porn does your little heart desire??

  37. Mike says:

    Dood.

    I did not give you express oral or written permission to put up a picture of my head.

  38. Mike says:

    Dood.

    I did not give you express oral or written permission to put up a picture of my head.

  39. Malach the Merciless says:

    Now I got to go jerk off

  40. Malach the Merciless says:

    Now I got to go jerk off

  41. meleah rebeccah says:

    I dont get that At All. What a complete moron. Wow.

  42. meleah rebeccah says:

    I dont get that At All. What a complete moron. Wow.

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