Before I start today, I have a guest post movie review of Twilight over on Moog’s Movie Reviews.

Carry on…

******************

Man…

…if this post title doesn’t get me some weird f*cking search hits, I’m not sure what will.

Regardless, the result of the latest Mental Poo poll are in!

46 People Voted on the following question:

Should I show up wearing a fuzzy thong, or just the usual chipmunk costume?

Woops.

Wrong poll.

That one’s for my Furries chat room.


Here are the responses to my question:

What’s the most disturbing search my site comes up in?

7th Place: insert banana in your tailpipe (2 votes)

I’m not surprised here, as this is only disturbing to people who HAVEN’T stuck a banana in their ass.

And, really…how many people can THAT be?


6th Place: sick ugly old people pornography (5 votes)

This one confuses me.

I can see old people porn as being okay.

(I mean, a tit is a tit…even if it’s 16 inches long)

I can even see ugly old people porn as being okay.

However, SICK ugly old people porn?

Not quite sure why people would want to see ugly old people bumping their wrinkly uglies while their oxygen tanks and breathing tubes and wheelchairs and canes and shit get in the way of the good stuff.

I mean, I want to see this shit, you know?


5th place (tie):

The following two items each got 6 votes:

tits like my moms tits

how to stop really thick poo

Ugh.

The poo one, not that disturbing. I, myself, have had this very same question.

Question: How do I stop my really thick poo?

Answer: Use your thumb. It’s fatter than your other fingers.

Wow…I’m like Howto.com!


However, the “tits like my mom’s tits” one freaks me out a little.

Unless you’re from Kentucky or you’re Pamela Anderson’s kid, I can’t see how you pay attention to what your mom’s tits even look like.

I know what your mom’s tits look like (hello…she’s a chick), but not my own for chrissakes.

Personally, I only know what my mother looks like only from the neck up.

If, God forbid, she was ever in an accident and I had to identify her by her boobs or ass, she’s pretty much going to the grave unclaimed as a f*cking Jane Doe.


3rd Place: testicle needle torture (7 votes)

Nothing to see here.

Let’s move immediately to 2nd place before I f*cking throw up.

2nd Place: mother in law pussy (9 votes)

I’m surprised this is so high on the finish list as a ‘disturbing’ search term.

A mother-in-law is not in your bloodline and, therefore, falls under the same criteria as “old people porn”:

A tit is a tit (unless it’s your mom’s…see 5th place above).

Personally, I find this only disturbing if your mother-in-law is disgusting.

However, if your mother-in-law is Demi Moore, Jane Seymour (what?) or anything above a “4” on the bang-scale, then by all means…this is totally acceptable.


1st Place: woman eating bad ass monkey poo (11 votes)

Woman eating bad ass monkey poo.

Really.

You know, when I look at these search results, I sometimes click the search to see what will actually come up in the results.

I did not click this one.

I am curious, yes….but not THAT curious.

I mean, it’s one thing to Google a woman who eats monkey poo.

It’s an entirely different thing when that monkey also has a f*cking bad attitude.

First place?

I’d say it’s justly earned.

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Comments
  1. Dr Zibbs says:

    That Ronald picture’s a classic

  2. Dr Zibbs says:

    That Ronald picture’s a classic

  3. Mike says:

    I know how to stop really thick poo.

    I’ll never ever do that again.

  4. Mike says:

    I know how to stop really thick poo.

    I’ll never ever do that again.

  5. Arielle says:

    I clicked on the furries link. O.O

    “The furry group has its own customs and language. “Yiff” means sex, “yiffy” means horny or sexual, and “yiffing” means mating. “Fur pile” denotes a bunch of furries lying on top of one another, affectionately, while skritching. “Spooge” is semen — a possible outcome of a fur pile. A “furvert” is anyone who is sexually attracted to mascots and such.”

  6. Arielle says:

    I clicked on the furries link. O.O

    “The furry group has its own customs and language. “Yiff” means sex, “yiffy” means horny or sexual, and “yiffing” means mating. “Fur pile” denotes a bunch of furries lying on top of one another, affectionately, while skritching. “Spooge” is semen — a possible outcome of a fur pile. A “furvert” is anyone who is sexually attracted to mascots and such.”

  7. LBluca77 says:

    BOB!!!!!

    I have to stop reading your blog while I am eating my breakfast. I end up spitting half the food out from laughing, but my pants don’t feel as tight.

    You could be the new Richard Simmons!!

  8. LBluca77 says:

    BOB!!!!!

    I have to stop reading your blog while I am eating my breakfast. I end up spitting half the food out from laughing, but my pants don’t feel as tight.

    You could be the new Richard Simmons!!

  9. Chris Wood says:

    Once again you have cut aside irrelevant issues and focused in on the important issues.

    The old Chinese people pic made me snigger a lot. Good call sir.

  10. Chris Wood says:

    Once again you have cut aside irrelevant issues and focused in on the important issues.

    The old Chinese people pic made me snigger a lot. Good call sir.

  11. Becky..AMHW says:

    Alrighty, this is disgusting, but I feel it’s only my duty to share today’s spotlight search term to find my blog today. I’m not kidding about the disgusting.

    The term is, “blackheads on my boobs”. This landed our blackhead image searcher on a photo of my tubal.

    Awesome.

    In the interest of science I clicked the search referral too…and found THIS DISGUSTING THING. DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

    I’m gonna eat some breakfast now.

  12. Becky..AMHW says:

    Alrighty, this is disgusting, but I feel it’s only my duty to share today’s spotlight search term to find my blog today. I’m not kidding about the disgusting.

    The term is, “blackheads on my boobs”. This landed our blackhead image searcher on a photo of my tubal.

    Awesome.

    In the interest of science I clicked the search referral too…and found THIS DISGUSTING THING. DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON.

    I’m gonna eat some breakfast now.

  13. moooooog35 says:

    Dr. Zibbs: Thanks. Maybe you can check out Becky’s link and see if there’s anything you can suggest for that.

    Like…never ever clicking on it ever again.

    Mike: What? Not a big fan of sodomy?

    Arielle: Thanks for the info! Let us know how your first convention works out.

    lbluca: yeah. just what I was shooting for. I want to be a flaming homosexual in tight satin shorts.

    I don’t own tight satin shorts!

    Chris: It’s what I do.

    Becky: You’re so closed to being banned from ever commenting on here because of that link it’s not even funny.

    That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen….and that’s coming from ME.

    As an update, yesterday I had this one find me:

    “i like to eat my wife’s scat”

    Sometimes, I just don’t want to write anymore.

  14. moooooog35 says:

    Dr. Zibbs: Thanks. Maybe you can check out Becky’s link and see if there’s anything you can suggest for that.

    Like…never ever clicking on it ever again.

    Mike: What? Not a big fan of sodomy?

    Arielle: Thanks for the info! Let us know how your first convention works out.

    lbluca: yeah. just what I was shooting for. I want to be a flaming homosexual in tight satin shorts.

    I don’t own tight satin shorts!

    Chris: It’s what I do.

    Becky: You’re so closed to being banned from ever commenting on here because of that link it’s not even funny.

    That was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen….and that’s coming from ME.

    As an update, yesterday I had this one find me:

    “i like to eat my wife’s scat”

    Sometimes, I just don’t want to write anymore.

  15. Becky..AMHW says:

    I’ve been properly chastized….

    Should I post a link to the MMM housewife again?

  16. Becky..AMHW says:

    I’ve been properly chastized….

    Should I post a link to the MMM housewife again?

  17. Mike says:

    moooooooog: Sodomy just isnt’ the same when it’s not you.

  18. Mike says:

    moooooooog: Sodomy just isnt’ the same when it’s not you.

  19. rs27 says:

    Monkey poo is pretty bad ass. I stand by that statement.

  20. rs27 says:

    Monkey poo is pretty bad ass. I stand by that statement.

  21. Practically Joe says:

    The picture of Bob loving his truck is very interesting …
    He must be exhausted when he’s done.

  22. Practically Joe says:

    The picture of Bob loving his truck is very interesting …
    He must be exhausted when he’s done.

  23. Malach the Merciless says:

    You saw Twillight?

    Are you sure they did not take you balls off at that vasectomy?

  24. Malach the Merciless says:

    You saw Twillight?

    Are you sure they did not take you balls off at that vasectomy?

  25. deluded says:

    monkey poo rules!

    oh.

    sorry.

    mental poo rules!

    damn typos

  26. deluded says:

    monkey poo rules!

    oh.

    sorry.

    mental poo rules!

    damn typos

  27. Business Minder says:

    Why would someone stick their c**k into the tailpipe? ….

  28. Business Minder says:

    Why would someone stick their c**k into the tailpipe? ….

  29. moooooog35 says:

    Becky: I think we’re good at this point, thanks.

    Mike: Now you sound like my dad.

    rs27: A man with convictions! In 27 states!

    PracJoe: “EXHAUSTED”! Brilliant!

    Malach: Slacker. GUEST review. GUEST. You should ask Mrs. Malach about the presence of my balls.

    Deluded: Mental..monkey…poTAto..poTAHto.

    Business: I think the question is who WOULDN’T?

    Perhaps I’ve said too much.

  30. moooooog35 says:

    Becky: I think we’re good at this point, thanks.

    Mike: Now you sound like my dad.

    rs27: A man with convictions! In 27 states!

    PracJoe: “EXHAUSTED”! Brilliant!

    Malach: Slacker. GUEST review. GUEST. You should ask Mrs. Malach about the presence of my balls.

    Deluded: Mental..monkey…poTAto..poTAHto.

    Business: I think the question is who WOULDN’T?

    Perhaps I’ve said too much.

  31. C.Rag says:

    Don’t judge the banana fudge.

  32. C.Rag says:

    Don’t judge the banana fudge.

  33. AngieSS says:

    Bob really disturbs me. But then again I’ve never had a banana stuck up my ass so I guess that is normal! 😉

  34. AngieSS says:

    Bob really disturbs me. But then again I’ve never had a banana stuck up my ass so I guess that is normal! 😉

  35. fiona says:

    Your results presentation gets an A+
    I am also deeply disturbed by Bobs fashion sense. Poor wee Bob needs a makeover…

  36. fiona says:

    Your results presentation gets an A+
    I am also deeply disturbed by Bobs fashion sense. Poor wee Bob needs a makeover…

  37. RickC says:

    I believe Bob needs a pair of stilletos and he would move up a few spots on the list!

  38. RickC says:

    I believe Bob needs a pair of stilletos and he would move up a few spots on the list!

  39. Mathdude says:

    I came here to check you out after seeing your whoissecretdubai comment. Good stuff, dude!

    Hey, *looking left and right* look out for that Zibbs character.

  40. Mathdude says:

    I came here to check you out after seeing your whoissecretdubai comment. Good stuff, dude!

    Hey, *looking left and right* look out for that Zibbs character.

  41. Kellie says:

    Definitely justly earned. I’ve got to agree w/ you there. I wouldn’t have the nerve to click on that one either. There are some things you just DONT want to see. Ever.

  42. Kellie says:

    Definitely justly earned. I’ve got to agree w/ you there. I wouldn’t have the nerve to click on that one either. There are some things you just DONT want to see. Ever.

  43. meleah rebeccah says:

    You really have the craziest searches that bring people to your blog!

    I laughed out loud when I read this:

    “3rd Place: testicle needle torture (7 votes)

    Nothing to see here.

    Let’s move immediately to 2nd place before I f*cking throw up.”

    HA HA HA HA HA

  44. meleah rebeccah says:

    You really have the craziest searches that bring people to your blog!

    I laughed out loud when I read this:

    “3rd Place: testicle needle torture (7 votes)

    Nothing to see here.

    Let’s move immediately to 2nd place before I f*cking throw up.”

    HA HA HA HA HA

  45. Hungry Mother says:

    Nice “Entourage” reference. Turtle is on a better track with Meadow.

  46. Hungry Mother says:

    Nice “Entourage” reference. Turtle is on a better track with Meadow.

  47. OHmommy says:

    Oh lordy… that Ronald pic is great

  48. OHmommy says:

    Oh lordy… that Ronald pic is great

  49. LiLu says:

    Just found your blog. It’s like TMI Thursday every day! I love it!

    http://www.livitluvit.com/search/label/TMI%20Thursday

  50. LiLu says:

    Just found your blog. It’s like TMI Thursday every day! I love it!

    http://www.livitluvit.com/search/label/TMI%20Thursday

  51. catscratch says:

    Ech… the tailpipe pic skeeved me out. Seriously, red is NOT his color.

  52. catscratch says:

    Ech… the tailpipe pic skeeved me out. Seriously, red is NOT his color.

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