Women Eating Bad Ass Monkey Poo Wins!

Posted: December 4, 2008 in polls, search results

Before I start today, I have a guest post movie review of Twilight over on Moog’s Movie Reviews.

Carry on…

******************

Man…

…if this post title doesn’t get me some weird f*cking search hits, I’m not sure what will.

Regardless, the result of the latest Mental Poo poll are in!

46 People Voted on the following question:

Should I show up wearing a fuzzy thong, or just the usual chipmunk costume?

Woops.

Wrong poll.

That one’s for my Furries chat room.


Here are the responses to my question:

What’s the most disturbing search my site comes up in?

7th Place: insert banana in your tailpipe (2 votes)

I’m not surprised here, as this is only disturbing to people who HAVEN’T stuck a banana in their ass.

And, really…how many people can THAT be?


6th Place: sick ugly old people pornography (5 votes)

This one confuses me.

I can see old people porn as being okay.

(I mean, a tit is a tit…even if it’s 16 inches long)

I can even see ugly old people porn as being okay.

However, SICK ugly old people porn?

Not quite sure why people would want to see ugly old people bumping their wrinkly uglies while their oxygen tanks and breathing tubes and wheelchairs and canes and shit get in the way of the good stuff.

I mean, I want to see this shit, you know?


5th place (tie):

The following two items each got 6 votes:

tits like my moms tits

how to stop really thick poo

Ugh.

The poo one, not that disturbing. I, myself, have had this very same question.

Question: How do I stop my really thick poo?

Answer: Use your thumb. It’s fatter than your other fingers.

Wow…I’m like Howto.com!


However, the “tits like my mom’s tits” one freaks me out a little.

Unless you’re from Kentucky or you’re Pamela Anderson’s kid, I can’t see how you pay attention to what your mom’s tits even look like.

I know what your mom’s tits look like (hello…she’s a chick), but not my own for chrissakes.

Personally, I only know what my mother looks like only from the neck up.

If, God forbid, she was ever in an accident and I had to identify her by her boobs or ass, she’s pretty much going to the grave unclaimed as a f*cking Jane Doe.


3rd Place: testicle needle torture (7 votes)

Nothing to see here.

Let’s move immediately to 2nd place before I f*cking throw up.

2nd Place: mother in law pussy (9 votes)

I’m surprised this is so high on the finish list as a ‘disturbing’ search term.

A mother-in-law is not in your bloodline and, therefore, falls under the same criteria as “old people porn”:

A tit is a tit (unless it’s your mom’s…see 5th place above).

Personally, I find this only disturbing if your mother-in-law is disgusting.

However, if your mother-in-law is Demi Moore, Jane Seymour (what?) or anything above a “4” on the bang-scale, then by all means…this is totally acceptable.


1st Place: woman eating bad ass monkey poo (11 votes)

Woman eating bad ass monkey poo.

Really.

You know, when I look at these search results, I sometimes click the search to see what will actually come up in the results.

I did not click this one.

I am curious, yes….but not THAT curious.

I mean, it’s one thing to Google a woman who eats monkey poo.

It’s an entirely different thing when that monkey also has a f*cking bad attitude.

First place?

I’d say it’s justly earned.

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