"Sweep the Leg" and Other Non-Amazing Shit

Posted: November 25, 2008 in awards, karate, kids, parenting

Before I start, I have a new movie review of Get Smart over on Moog’s Movie Reviews.”

Carry on.


It’s gloat time.

This weekend, my five year old son had his first ever karate tournament.

He participated in four events:

1) Forms
2) Self Defense
3) Sparring
4) Trying to bang Elisabeth Shue


I’m thinking of the other karate kid for #4.

Three events.

How did he do?

Take a look:


Two FIRST PLACE trophies and a Fourth Place trophy.

The f*cking Fourth Place showing is nothing but a disappointment.

We’ll have to work a little harder at destroying his childhood and taking all the fun out of karate if he wants to please me.

I’m kidding.

(not really)

He did AWESOME. Fourth place in Self Defense, first place in Forms and first place in Sparring.

I was videotaping the whole thing, with my wife by my side.

She had never seen my son spar/fight in karate.

As he’s clearly kicking everyone’s ass getting point after point (as a side note, they frown upon parents screaming “SWEEP THE LEG!”), she’s subconciously grabbing my arm and shaking it.

As such, the video of the event looks like it was taken either by a California store’s security camera during an earthquake, or someone with f*cking Parkinson’s Disease.

Thanks hon. Quite the shaky memory we’ve made there.

Super proud of you, Cam. Super proud.


Also, just an award acknowledgement from Kellie over at Beauty is in the Eye of the Beer Holder.”

Kellie awarded me this:

The “Uber Amazing Blog” award.


The only time I’ve ever been called “Uber” anything is when I neglected to tell my girlfriend in High School that I was nearing…um…completion while getting a BJ.

Her response when the time came:


I don’t think she was actually saying “Uber,” but the choking sure did sound like it.

I’m supposed to ‘tag’ other blogs to give this award to. But homey don’t play that way.

The only time I tag other people is when I’m finished with my turn at the gang bang.

Even then, I’m not a big fan of slapping hands. Too gooey.

I also like this part of the award:

“Keep it Up.”

Keep it up?

Apparently, you don’t know me very well.

I need pills for that shit.

Speaking of ‘keeping it up’…I’m off to rent “Karate Kid.


Elisabeth Shue.

Thanks, Kellie! This is much appreciated.

Everyone else, go check her site out – well worth the read.

Moog out.

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