Why Can’t I Think of this Shit First?

Posted: November 19, 2008 in movies, rants, wtf

Once again, I bow to Netflix’s recommendations.

This time, I’m bowing towards them.

I checked my recommendations list from Netflix today.

I saw…

THIS:


“Zombie Strippers”

WTF.

My first reaction was:

“Jesus H. Christ…people will make a movie about anything.”

But then…I put my crocheting needles down (this sweater vest is coming out fucking AWESOME)

…realized that I was actually a fucking guy, and thought:

“Wait. I like zombies! I like strippers! By the theorem Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc, I will really like “Zombie Strippers!“”

I work in logical fallacies when I get excited.

Fallacy almost sounds like fellatio.

Just sayin’.

Then…somehow…some way…

…this actually got better (click to enlarge):


My next reaction:

OMG OMG OMG OMG

This was immediately followed by the guy at the next desk giving me the Heimlich maneuver.

Helpful tip:

When you say “OMG OMG OMG OMG” out loud, it sounds like you’re choking.

Let’s check the scorecard for this flick:

1) Zombies
2) Strippers
3) Strippers that are zombies
4) Zombies that strip
5) FREDDIE FUCKING KRUEGER
6) JENNA (I can only watch her five minutes at a time) JAMESON

Somebody:

Rent this and send me a review of it.

I’d rent it myself but with a 94 minute running time, and me being able to watch Jenna Jameson at 5 minute intervals only with 20-minute..um..”regeneration breaks” in between…this would take me the better part of a day to get through it.

I don’t have that kind of time, and only a little lube left.

I tried watching it myself online here at work but that fucking guy kept giving me the Heimlich.

At least, I hope that’s what he’s doing.

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