Posted: September 5, 2008 in kids

Sitting with the kids the other night, watching Comcast’s “Gallery Player.”

(In case you were thinking of moving here, this actually qualifies as “fun” in New Hampshire…so you can unpack your bags now.)

Halfway through, a flamingo picture popped up on the screen.

Daughter: “A flamingo!”


A teaching opportunity has presented itself that doesn’t involve High School Musical characters (Gabriella is shizzam!), Spongebob or explaining what masturbation means!

Um…regarding this latter point…

I called my friend Rob the other day while in the car with the family.

Rob: “Hey! I was just thinking about you last night.”

Me: “Oh yeah? Were you masturbating?”

..then…from the back seat…

Daughter: “What’s masturbating?”


(evil death stare from wife)

Nice, Rod. Nice.

Okay…back to the story…

I decided to quiz the kids on WHAT makes flamingos pink.

Me: “..and do you know what flamingos eat that turns them pink?”

(My wife calls me “Mr. Wizard”)


Me: “I’ll give you a hint…it’s something that I like to eat…and it begins with ‘shh’.”

I know…you’re all thinking “SHIT” – but the answer is actually “shrimp.”

All together now:

Thank you, Mr. Wizard!

Back to the conversation:

Me: “No? I eat it…and it starts with the ‘sh’ sound…shhh….”


My son looks up.

Son: “I know! Sheep!”


Apparently, my son thinks I eat sheep…

…and so do flamingos.

So much for me being “Mr. Wizard.”


I should just stick to High School Musical characters.

At least they get naked every once in a while.


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