My Son and the Ass-Munching Goat

Posted: June 23, 2008 in kids, parenting

The alternate title of this was:

“Check out how F*CKING CUTE my son is!”

But I was worried about people searching for “f*ck” and “son” in the same sentence coming to visit.

On a side note:

“Hi Dad.”

Anyway…

My wife chaperoned my son on his field trip to a farm last week.

A farm.

Ugh.

Unfortunately, when you live in New England, you only have three choices for field trips:

1) Something historic

This goes over well, you know…

…because 4 year olds are just so intrigued about how to make your own f*cking butter.


2) Some kind of museum

Seriously.

How I ever got through kindergarten without slitting my f*cking wrists after a field trip is beyond me.


3) Some kind of farm

Dirt.

Hay.

Animal shit.

Awesome.

Yeah…New England.

We kinda suck sometimes.


My wife was much more stable than I was as a chaperone…

…which is well documented in the mental torture I subjected the kids to in a post titled:

Raisins are People.

Yes folks. I have no shame.

Big f*cking surprise, eh?

Regardless…

My wife sent me this picture from the trip:


Again:

How F*CKING CUTE is my son?!?

He looks just like his dad.

(So I’m told)

When she showed the picture to him, he said:

Yeah…the goat kept chewing on my bum.

Huh?

Oh.

Look closer:


F*cking ass-munching goats…GET OFF OF MY SON!!!

Wait…

Flash forward 18 years to his bachelor party where I’m saying the same thing.

Yeah…it’s gonna be one CRAZY-ASS party.

I’ve already started putting money away for it.

Now there’s a field trip I’m going to have NO problem with.

I hope the strippers bring the butter churn.

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