An Award, Some Sharts, and a Shameless "Plug de la Butt"

Posted: March 11, 2008 in awards


Just a few things today.

This is because my mind has been clouded by my Percocets

…and I’ve been trying to erase the dreams I’ve been having of a threesome with Rosie O’Donnell and Minnie Driver.

(on a related note, I’ve found a cure for those men with four-hour Viagra boners)

I’m really starting to hate Percocets.


Anyway…

Malach the Merciless has bestowed upon me his first-ever award, “The Blog Superstar” award:

I’ve always wanted to be a blog superstar…even as a kid.

Even the other kids called me “blog superstar.”

Wait…

Nevermind…nevermind…it wasn’t “blog superstar”….

…it was “BLOB Stupid shit.”

I was really, really fat.

Kids are mean.

I’m going to get a Twinkie and cry in a corner.

Thanks for dredging up that f*cking memory, Malach.



Is that poo on your ass, or are you just happy to see me?

In true reciprocating fashion, I’ve realized that it’s been a while since I’ve given out the Moooooog35 coveted “Shart of my Heart” award to anyone.

(this is primarily because the picture is so disgusting, that people refuse to post it on their site)


So, without further ado…I bestow this “award” (basically, a guy with sh*t all over his ass) to the following blogs for making me laugh on a regular basis:

The Offended Blogger


Cookiebitch

Your Beard is Good

Spazoid’s Space

Malicious Intent

These are all awesome blogs, with lots of stuff to make you laugh.

And now, they may have a picture of someone who’s sh*t their pants to further their cause.

Congrats to all!

Don’t let it go to your head.

My Shameless Plug

If you haven’t noticed, I have a new thing on my right sidebar that now says I also write for “Scrivel.”

This is an alternate blog site that has about 10 writers or so (I’m not really paying attention, though, as I only really give a rat’s ass about myself) and is trying to get a good pushoff.

The Pros: For those of you asking for shorter articles, your wish has been granted

The Cons: I don’t do my own pictures there. I’ve decided that I’m too f*cking lazy to actually do this sh*t more than I have to.

Scrivel.com

Anyway…

Right now, you’ll find four articles from yours-truly up there…that you won’t find here:

An Open Letter to Guapo, My Janitor
A heartwarming story about our illegal-immigrant janitor who, for some f*cking reason, can’t figure out how to refill the towel dipsenser in the f*cking men’s room.

The Chopstick Terrorists
A lighthearted journey into the mentality of the stupid f*cksh*ts doing security at amusement parks. Fun for the whole family!

Jack Sparrow and the Class-3 Felony
My son went to a birthday party. Not fun.

Nice Tooth, Helga
You know the hot deli chick at your grocery store? Yeah…me either. This one’s about that ugly, toothless b*tch.

I also have one coming up called “Rosie eats Minnie, a Love Story.”

F*ck.

I really need to get off these painkillers.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s