Clearing my Proverbial Mantelpiece

Posted: November 14, 2007 in awards

Well…I’m not sure how or why, but I got three (THREE) more awards from people.

I’m not asking for them, but lo-and-behold, here they are:

I got one called “Be the Blog” – which, personally, I find confusing. I don’t want to be the blog…I just want to write it. The closest I’ve ever come to being a blog, was when I was a fat kid…

…but that was “being a blob” – so I’m not sure that counts.

Anwyay, thanks, Emmy.


Here’s another one, that’s even more confusing:

The “Friendly Site Award”

?!?!?

Thanks, Gulf Coast Mommy….

…but WTF?!?

Friendly?

Flowers?

Not that I don’t appreciate it…but if Mental Poo screams anything…I doubt it would be “Friendly.”

In fact, my post “A Piercing Scream” starts out like this:

“I hate needles. HATE them.

I hate them more than I hate guys who wear their baseball hats sideways (or, even worse, sideways with a KINK) and think they’re the next coming of Eminem.

I hate them more than those people wearing sunglasses on a cloudy day…or inside a building. Unless you’re an albino, TAKE THE GLASSES OFF.

I hate them more than I hate talking to people with accents…especially over the phone where I have no ability to try to read their lips. (This includes people from Texas – sorry, cowboy, but I can’t understand ANY of that sh*t).

I hate them more than I hate bumper stickers that say, “If you can read this, you’re too close.” I want to kill this man. Guess what, jackass…I’m too close because YOU’RE SO F*CKING SLOW!”

For those of you at home keeping score, that’s 8 (eight) times I say the word “hate“, one mention of the word “jackass“, and one usage of the word “kill.”

Everyone…all together…

“..Can you feel…the love…tonight…”

Friendly my ass.

Not that I’m not appreciative. No, not at all. It’s just that I think a “You’re a Funny Prick” award would have been more apropo.

The third and last one is the following:


The “You Make me Smile” Award.

Thank you from the folks over at “Go Smell the Flowers” (Again, though, what’s with the friggin’ flowers).

My goal is to actually make people smile (or, for hard-core Christians to run screaming…it’s just funny to watch). So, thanks for a little validation.

As mentioned, I’ll probably be coming up with my own award. I’m thinking this:


Yes, the “You’re the Shart of my Heart” award.

If you need to look up “shart,” you’re not eligible.

I’ll shout this out to the following people:

Baba Doodlius

Tequila Mockingbird

Preposterous Ponderings

Enjoy your sharts.

Anyway – to those how voted…thank you.

Now go have a nice f*cking day.

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Comments
  1. >Careful you might win a Murko

  2. >goddamnit. blogger sucks. it’s making me re write my comment. anyway, um thanks, but i’m not putting the shart award on my page. maybe one day you’ll win a MFGS (mother-fucking gold star)

  3. >Well you lucky son of a bitch you! Congratulations you bastard!I will truly enjoy my Shart Award and I thank you very kindly. I shall hold it dear to my heart forever and ever.

  4. >P.S.Check out my Blog,there is something there for you! :o)

  5. >”You’re the Shart of my Heart.” After looking at this I’m not sure whether to laugh or hurl. Please, keep this far away from me!!

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